Hey I don't have anything against kids. They are cute, they can be fun (when they actually properly raised) and I certainly appreciate that I was once a kid. However, never confuse the facts. You chose to have kids now, I did not.
I know what your thinking, "Oh boy, here comes another rant". But seriously. I have never been able to understand these women that choose to have kids so early, or choose to have a billion of them (ok not really but 4, 5, 6, and even those that choose to have a dozen) and then they complain about it and then..........wait for it..........they try to tell you how wonderful it is.......and then.......wait for it..........they try to guilt you for not having kids. I HATE that. Not because it gets to me a way that makes me feel guilty for not having kids. More like in a way that makes me pity them. Because they aren't happy with their choices.
I believe you shouldn't have kids till you are married (besides the fact that I believe this as a Christian, I also believe it is wrong to bring a child into a broken family intentionally). I also believe that if you know your limitations there is nothing wrong with acting on them. Like, "I want to wait, because I want to enjoy the first years of marriage" or "I really think I just want one or two, I know that's about all I can handle" or "I thought I wanted more, but after the first one I decided having more just wasn't for me". THANK YOU! You were honest, you were upfront, you didn't lie to trap other unsuspecting women.
I have so many girls that I grew up with, went to church with, etc. that mostly got married before me and I remember thinking how strange when within a few weeks of the honeymoon they would announce their first pregnancy or the fact that they would have their first baby before their first wedding anniversary. What happened to enjoying being married. Having adventures with your husband. Being spontaneous with your life before settling down.
I don't confuse marriage with settling down. I married my husband within 6 months of knowing him, because I knew he was the one and there was no sense in waiting any longer. But we both knew we didn't want kids immediately. In fact our 2 year plan has become a five year plan and I am sure will possibly extend past that. I am not afraid of having kids. I am not afraid of the changes it will bring to my life and my husbands. I am aware of what we want out of life and our marriage. I don't believe we are selfish for pursuing our goals or adventures before we start having kids, please note that I don't say "start a family". When we took our vows we started our family. Done.
I see girls that are straight our of high school, living with a deadbeat boyfriend and neither have much of a job to speak of and lo and behold suddenly they are announcing that they are expecting! What? Why? Why? Why would you do this? Have you no shame? Bringing a child into a world like that and people actually show joy and excitement for this! What about all of the hardships that child will know because of what they will be subjected to? Did you think about that when you were thinking about cute and cuddly the baby was gonna be? Good grief!
Ok, I realize I chased some bunnies there for a while. Back to the main topic.
If YOU choose to have babies. If YOU choose to start having kids
http://www.yourtango.com/2015250349/dear-moms-stop-complaining-you-chose-to-have-kids-remember
Saturday, November 7, 2015
What Came First? Marriage or Kids?
Yes that is what I asked. Same concept as "the chicken or the egg". Traditionally yes, the marriage comes before the kids. So let's use that scenario, shall we?
When you stand up there in front of witnesses and take the vows of commitment to the person standing across from you there were no kids in the picture. You didn't say "to you and to the children we will someday have".
Let's also say for sake of argument that you don't even know if you can have kids, I am going to assume however that you are both in agreement on whether you want kids or not.
Now, why is it that once the kids come they are constantly being put first? Not in a "basic nurturing" way but in such a way that keeps you completely busy and stressed to the point that you don't have time for your spouse? BTW this includes people that have to have a schedule "date night". If you have to reserve "Wednesday Night" for your spouse than you aren't giving him/her enough of your attention.
If you don't maintain that original commitment than how is this affecting your kids? They can't survive without a stable marriage as the source of stability in their lives. So by puttig your spouse first you are actually ultimately thinking of the kids' well being. Interesting.
Here is a good article with some good perspective on the topic:
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/lori-lowe/your-marriage-more-important-your-kids
Keep this in mind, the kids don't miss what they don't know. If you choose to attend "mommy groups", "soccer practice", "dance practice", "play dates", "shopping trips", vacations for the whole family", "weekend trips to the zoo", "weekend trips to theme parks", then it's your choice. Not the child's. Sure they will get upset if you suddenly stop doing it but if they never become used to it, then it's not an issues.
I remember getting to go to "Astro World" in Houston as a kid several times. I also remember an occasional trip to the zoo. But it wasn't habit and we never felt deprived if we didn't go. So many kids today are senselessly spoiled with the idea that they "need this". Says who? Who says they need all of that?
So before you tie yourself up with these unnecessary things, think about what else you should be doing. Planning a long three day weekend for you and your spouse? Special dinner somewhere new on a Friday night? Don't be afraid to ask the grandparents or aunts and uncles to babysit. Guess what? You and your spouse will be happier for it and in the end so will the kids.
When you stand up there in front of witnesses and take the vows of commitment to the person standing across from you there were no kids in the picture. You didn't say "to you and to the children we will someday have".
Let's also say for sake of argument that you don't even know if you can have kids, I am going to assume however that you are both in agreement on whether you want kids or not.
Now, why is it that once the kids come they are constantly being put first? Not in a "basic nurturing" way but in such a way that keeps you completely busy and stressed to the point that you don't have time for your spouse? BTW this includes people that have to have a schedule "date night". If you have to reserve "Wednesday Night" for your spouse than you aren't giving him/her enough of your attention.
If you don't maintain that original commitment than how is this affecting your kids? They can't survive without a stable marriage as the source of stability in their lives. So by puttig your spouse first you are actually ultimately thinking of the kids' well being. Interesting.
Here is a good article with some good perspective on the topic:
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/lori-lowe/your-marriage-more-important-your-kids
Keep this in mind, the kids don't miss what they don't know. If you choose to attend "mommy groups", "soccer practice", "dance practice", "play dates", "shopping trips", vacations for the whole family", "weekend trips to the zoo", "weekend trips to theme parks", then it's your choice. Not the child's. Sure they will get upset if you suddenly stop doing it but if they never become used to it, then it's not an issues.
I remember getting to go to "Astro World" in Houston as a kid several times. I also remember an occasional trip to the zoo. But it wasn't habit and we never felt deprived if we didn't go. So many kids today are senselessly spoiled with the idea that they "need this". Says who? Who says they need all of that?
So before you tie yourself up with these unnecessary things, think about what else you should be doing. Planning a long three day weekend for you and your spouse? Special dinner somewhere new on a Friday night? Don't be afraid to ask the grandparents or aunts and uncles to babysit. Guess what? You and your spouse will be happier for it and in the end so will the kids.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
An Enemy More Common Than You Think
Since being diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) in 2013 (and developed in 2012) I have been a journey to fix most if not all of the problems it causes.
I always wondered what caused it, I had very normal physical health up until I started birth control in 2011. After a year of battling the emotional issues caused by the birth control, I decided to get off of it. However, 4 months after being off of the BC I was still having a ton of issues! Issues that I had never experienced before. I went to the doctor in the spring of 2013 and received my diagnosis. I naturally assumed the birth control caused the PCOS, however recently this year I discovered that my great-aunt on my mother's side had it as well. Giving truth to the fact that PCOS is mostly hereditary.
I already had a relatively healthy lifestyle. Not big into processed foods, junk, sodas, sugary things in general. I ate lots of vegetables and was relatively active. But I knew I needed to do more. I tried all kinds of diets with no success to speak of. Finally November of 2013 after being at a point of complete disgust with myself I switched to gluten free. I won't say that it is what has caused the big part of my weight loss but it definitely detoxed my body preparing it for weight loss. I stuck to the gluten free all through the holidays, missing out on most of my favorite treats. It paid off. As soon as January arrived I went hardcore gluten free with balanced portions and calorie control. The weight began to drop. I lost 10 lbs and then it stalled. I decided it was time to become even more drastic, I started working out hardcore at my gym. I added a weight regime to my cardio. I also switched to keto/low carb.
By June of 2014 I had lost 30 lbs. I went from 203 to 173. Not only was there weight loss, there was overall health improvement. The brown spots, acne, hair loss, excess testosterone, mood swings, depression, all eliminated.
I have maintained my weight since then and I haven't suffered from depression in 2 years. Eating a combination of low carb/paleo/gluten free has saved my life. I am happier for it. I still occasionally enjoy some things that aren't on the recommended diet .... such as pizza ( a personal weakness for me) but mostly I remain strong and faithful to my health regime.
Having moved around a lot in the last 2 years, my exercise routine has changed quite a bit. However, I still manage to get in no less than 30 minutes a day of exercise and definitely shoot for 1 1/2 hours five days a week. I had a gym membership when in lived in Kerrville, Texas and when I moved back to East Texas my husband and I started a joint membership so we could encourage each other. We have since moved again, however this time it is further out in the country making a gym membership not quite worth the extra drive, plus harder for us to exercise together. So 2 months ago we started jogging every evening and every other day we add a weight routine to that. I have also in the last two weeks added an ab workout (which is working wonders btw). We have also increased our jogging to 1 1/2 miles a day. That is really an accomplishment for someone who loathes jogging with passion.
If I could give any advice to my fellow PCOS sufferers, it would be this: Even if it is only 30 minutes a day of exercise, it will help you. If it doesn't help with weight loss it will help with self esteem, energy levels, hormone levels, it will reduce stress and minimize if not eliminate depression. Don't give up on yourself. I didn't give up on myself!
I always wondered what caused it, I had very normal physical health up until I started birth control in 2011. After a year of battling the emotional issues caused by the birth control, I decided to get off of it. However, 4 months after being off of the BC I was still having a ton of issues! Issues that I had never experienced before. I went to the doctor in the spring of 2013 and received my diagnosis. I naturally assumed the birth control caused the PCOS, however recently this year I discovered that my great-aunt on my mother's side had it as well. Giving truth to the fact that PCOS is mostly hereditary.
I already had a relatively healthy lifestyle. Not big into processed foods, junk, sodas, sugary things in general. I ate lots of vegetables and was relatively active. But I knew I needed to do more. I tried all kinds of diets with no success to speak of. Finally November of 2013 after being at a point of complete disgust with myself I switched to gluten free. I won't say that it is what has caused the big part of my weight loss but it definitely detoxed my body preparing it for weight loss. I stuck to the gluten free all through the holidays, missing out on most of my favorite treats. It paid off. As soon as January arrived I went hardcore gluten free with balanced portions and calorie control. The weight began to drop. I lost 10 lbs and then it stalled. I decided it was time to become even more drastic, I started working out hardcore at my gym. I added a weight regime to my cardio. I also switched to keto/low carb.
By June of 2014 I had lost 30 lbs. I went from 203 to 173. Not only was there weight loss, there was overall health improvement. The brown spots, acne, hair loss, excess testosterone, mood swings, depression, all eliminated.
I have maintained my weight since then and I haven't suffered from depression in 2 years. Eating a combination of low carb/paleo/gluten free has saved my life. I am happier for it. I still occasionally enjoy some things that aren't on the recommended diet .... such as pizza ( a personal weakness for me) but mostly I remain strong and faithful to my health regime.
Having moved around a lot in the last 2 years, my exercise routine has changed quite a bit. However, I still manage to get in no less than 30 minutes a day of exercise and definitely shoot for 1 1/2 hours five days a week. I had a gym membership when in lived in Kerrville, Texas and when I moved back to East Texas my husband and I started a joint membership so we could encourage each other. We have since moved again, however this time it is further out in the country making a gym membership not quite worth the extra drive, plus harder for us to exercise together. So 2 months ago we started jogging every evening and every other day we add a weight routine to that. I have also in the last two weeks added an ab workout (which is working wonders btw). We have also increased our jogging to 1 1/2 miles a day. That is really an accomplishment for someone who loathes jogging with passion.
If I could give any advice to my fellow PCOS sufferers, it would be this: Even if it is only 30 minutes a day of exercise, it will help you. If it doesn't help with weight loss it will help with self esteem, energy levels, hormone levels, it will reduce stress and minimize if not eliminate depression. Don't give up on yourself. I didn't give up on myself!
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Taking Your Health Into Your Own Hands but Are We Taking It Too Far?
I am sitting on this beautiful (still warm) Fall day still drinking coffee and I have been researching ways to use essential oils for weight loss that don't include ingesting them. I know the obvious one is rubbing them on yourself. However I get annoyed with is the feeling of oil on your skin, trying to get it dry so that it doesn't get on your clothes. Remembering to use it. Having it with you at all times. It just tends to be a hassle.
I LOVE it for hygienic and house cleaning purposes which in its own way is for your physical health. I feel like these are the methods that I get the most use out of essential oils. I make my own body wash, shaving cream, aftershave for my husband, kitchen cleaner, dishwasher detergent, laundry detergent and fabric softener. I haven't purchased chemically made products for cleaning in a little over a year.
I am enjoying the diffusing method at the moment.....literally. I am currently sitting here while my diffuser omits the refreshing scent of grapefruit. But what is it really doing, aside from smelling nice? My intention is to help jumpstart my body's weight loss. Is it really going to do that though?
I am not saying that the oils don't do this. However, I am completely convinced that at a certain point it becomes more about what you believe it can do.
Chiropractors, for example provide a very successful service, physical adjustments. I believe they are helpful, I believe they can fix certain issues that are causing other pains and discomforts and therefore "curing" your issues. I draw the line there. I am not going to walk into a "wellness center" and pay a guy that has a college degree to hold his hands above (without touching) certain parts of my body and knowing that that area is not the problem area. Sorry. Not buying it. There are some people however that truly believe in this stuff and do start "getting well". Again, I cannot stress enough that a lot of these issues can be self inflicted through paranoia and too much mental stress. Therefore the idea that you are getting help and that your taking strides towards getting well actually tricks your mind into feeling well again. Not because it has literally done anything but because it allowed your mind to believe that you are trying to help your body therefore your mind allows it. Essential oils are no different.
Yes, they are healthy, yes they are good for you (to a point), yes they are a much better option for cleaning and personal hygiene. There are unspeakably bad things in the everyday products that we use, therefore I believe it is in our best interest to replace these things with essential oils.
I know for a fact that Lavender relaxes and soothes you and can lull you to sleep. I know that Tea Tree has wonderful healing properties. I am highly allergic to poison ivy and I got it one time this year, and everyday for a week I placed Tea Tree on my spots and within that week it was drying up and going away. I believe thieves is a wonderful disinfecting cleaning agent. But let's not get too kooky with all of this.
I have friends that have done 100% natural everything throughout a pregnancy and all the way through the birth and their children still have allergies to things and they still get sick. These same friends live on organic food, healthy diets and ...... essential oils. Yet, they still get the flu, stomach bugs, colds, viruses. You name it. So, the answer is NO. The essential oils are not going to make you invincible. You may not get it as bad as others did, you may get well sooner but you can still get it. Don't let yourself rely on something so much that you are left unprepared when you actually do get sick.
I read an awesome blog post the other day ( I wish I had written it down) that was about a family (again, all organic, holistic and essential oil crazy) and they used a licensed aromatherapist for guidance in using the oils (something that I was highly impressed by, you don't want to be cocky and stupid with the use of the oils) and the family had come down a very bad cold and it wasn't going away, in fact it was getting worse. She was diffusing, ingesting, rubbing it on, doing every single thing she knew to do. So she final asked for advice from the aromatherapist who recommended that they ceased all use of the essential oils for a day or two and give there body a break. They did this and within those days were immediately improving. My point is that you CAN go overboard with the use of them. You don't need to place a diffuser in every room. You don't need to rub oils on your children's feet every night to help them sleep. You don't need to ingest lemon oil in your water to help you lose weight.
For the same reasons that you can needlessly take a vitamin, or take too many vitamins, or drink too much herbal tea, you can also use TOO MANY OILS. Yes, I said it. Anything in the wrong amount or in excess can be bad for you.
Ok I am officially out of thoughts on the topic. Just be careful with what you're using and how you're using it. Happy Oiling!
I LOVE it for hygienic and house cleaning purposes which in its own way is for your physical health. I feel like these are the methods that I get the most use out of essential oils. I make my own body wash, shaving cream, aftershave for my husband, kitchen cleaner, dishwasher detergent, laundry detergent and fabric softener. I haven't purchased chemically made products for cleaning in a little over a year.
I am enjoying the diffusing method at the moment.....literally. I am currently sitting here while my diffuser omits the refreshing scent of grapefruit. But what is it really doing, aside from smelling nice? My intention is to help jumpstart my body's weight loss. Is it really going to do that though?
I am not saying that the oils don't do this. However, I am completely convinced that at a certain point it becomes more about what you believe it can do.
Chiropractors, for example provide a very successful service, physical adjustments. I believe they are helpful, I believe they can fix certain issues that are causing other pains and discomforts and therefore "curing" your issues. I draw the line there. I am not going to walk into a "wellness center" and pay a guy that has a college degree to hold his hands above (without touching) certain parts of my body and knowing that that area is not the problem area. Sorry. Not buying it. There are some people however that truly believe in this stuff and do start "getting well". Again, I cannot stress enough that a lot of these issues can be self inflicted through paranoia and too much mental stress. Therefore the idea that you are getting help and that your taking strides towards getting well actually tricks your mind into feeling well again. Not because it has literally done anything but because it allowed your mind to believe that you are trying to help your body therefore your mind allows it. Essential oils are no different.
Yes, they are healthy, yes they are good for you (to a point), yes they are a much better option for cleaning and personal hygiene. There are unspeakably bad things in the everyday products that we use, therefore I believe it is in our best interest to replace these things with essential oils.
I know for a fact that Lavender relaxes and soothes you and can lull you to sleep. I know that Tea Tree has wonderful healing properties. I am highly allergic to poison ivy and I got it one time this year, and everyday for a week I placed Tea Tree on my spots and within that week it was drying up and going away. I believe thieves is a wonderful disinfecting cleaning agent. But let's not get too kooky with all of this.
I have friends that have done 100% natural everything throughout a pregnancy and all the way through the birth and their children still have allergies to things and they still get sick. These same friends live on organic food, healthy diets and ...... essential oils. Yet, they still get the flu, stomach bugs, colds, viruses. You name it. So, the answer is NO. The essential oils are not going to make you invincible. You may not get it as bad as others did, you may get well sooner but you can still get it. Don't let yourself rely on something so much that you are left unprepared when you actually do get sick.
I read an awesome blog post the other day ( I wish I had written it down) that was about a family (again, all organic, holistic and essential oil crazy) and they used a licensed aromatherapist for guidance in using the oils (something that I was highly impressed by, you don't want to be cocky and stupid with the use of the oils) and the family had come down a very bad cold and it wasn't going away, in fact it was getting worse. She was diffusing, ingesting, rubbing it on, doing every single thing she knew to do. So she final asked for advice from the aromatherapist who recommended that they ceased all use of the essential oils for a day or two and give there body a break. They did this and within those days were immediately improving. My point is that you CAN go overboard with the use of them. You don't need to place a diffuser in every room. You don't need to rub oils on your children's feet every night to help them sleep. You don't need to ingest lemon oil in your water to help you lose weight.
For the same reasons that you can needlessly take a vitamin, or take too many vitamins, or drink too much herbal tea, you can also use TOO MANY OILS. Yes, I said it. Anything in the wrong amount or in excess can be bad for you.
Ok I am officially out of thoughts on the topic. Just be careful with what you're using and how you're using it. Happy Oiling!
Friday, September 18, 2015
Upside to a Downside
How do you enjoy the "most wonderful time of the year" FALL when you have something called PCOS. Especially when your worst side affect is ...... WEIGHT GAIN.
Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Pumpkin Bread, Pumpkin Cheesecake, Pumpkin Pie, Thanksgiving Dinner, Hot Chocolate, Sweet Breads, Warm Cozy Soups, Chili, Chili Cheese Dogs, AGHHHHH I am already getting hungry and it's still 90 degrees outside!
I have compiled quite a list of low carb/paleo Fall treats that will hopefully suffice....here is one.
http://www.thenourishinggourmet.com/2013/10/paleo-pumpkin-spice-latte-dairy-free-and-sugar-free-as-desired.html
Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Pumpkin Bread, Pumpkin Cheesecake, Pumpkin Pie, Thanksgiving Dinner, Hot Chocolate, Sweet Breads, Warm Cozy Soups, Chili, Chili Cheese Dogs, AGHHHHH I am already getting hungry and it's still 90 degrees outside!
I have compiled quite a list of low carb/paleo Fall treats that will hopefully suffice....here is one.
http://www.thenourishinggourmet.com/2013/10/paleo-pumpkin-spice-latte-dairy-free-and-sugar-free-as-desired.html
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Sorry, You're Not In the Club...... Members Only
I'm sorry, what club? The one where you don't shower for days, and wear stained clothes that are too big or small for you, you eat when remember to eat, you actually get excited about making a diaper run because it gets you out of the house, you fluids from multiple areas of your body and the most excitement you have is anticipating the next nap time? No thank you.
A little recent perception has shown me that not ALL life changing events put you in a different more elite club.
For example, when you graduate high school. You all graduated and you are all starting your independent life. When you get start dating, it doesn't mean you don't hang out with your single friends. When you get married, you still don't stop hanging out with your single friends and you don't stop hanging out with your friends in general. But..........................
Have a baby and suddenly you are kicked out of the previous club you didn't even realize you were in and admitted into a totally new one. The one where frumpy, bored, miserable women convince you that it's the greatest experience ever. The one where women overreact to absolutely everything in the most ridiculous situations ever. The one where any woman that hasn't had a baby isn't as much as a hard worker or as sacrificial as the woman staying home with the baby.
Well here's a newsflash. Giving birth is not new news. Having babies has been going on for YEARS. Get over yourself. If you are "frumpy" (and I don't use that word lightly, more on that later) then it is self inflicted. Most moms now use that at their new secret identity. Except it's not really all that secret.
Frumpy: Dowdy, Drab, Dull, Unfashionable. Ok so the fashionable part is irrelevant. But the dowdy, drab and dull. Really? Pair with the "Ragamuffin" and your set for endless low self esteem and dread to each waking morning.
Just because you had a baby doesn't mean you don't have to care about yourself. Perhaps if you went that extra mile for yourself you wouldn't feel or act the way you do? I am not asking you. I am asking you to ask yourself.
I watch woman go through this transformation almost every time and every time I question whether I will do this or not. The answer is..........
NO! Absolutely not. I maintain that if you feel good in your body and feel good about yourself then you will feel good about being a mother and won't feel the need to guilt other unexpecting woman to be well......expecting.
I hate the prying questions at the get togethers,
Person 1: "So how many kids do you have" (overly sweet and syrupy voice)
Me: None (casual)
Person 1: "Oh, well when will yall be starting a family?" (still sweet, but traces of overbearing curiosity and interest)
Me: Oh, whenever we take an interest in it. (still casual)
Person 1: "Oh, well how old are you?" (eyes have started to squint and blatant interrogation style questioning has begun)
Me: 27 (casual and unphased.....oh wait not unphased a slight bit of pride has creeped into my voice, because yes, I have managed to be married for 4 years and not had kids yet)
Person 1: "Wow, well you better get started soon." (Mixed tones of jealousy, anger, astonishment, and overall shock leading to "I must say something bitterly encouraging")
Me: Nah, I'm not worried about it. *and I walk away*
This is a typical example of what people in the club say to people not in the club.
Why? Why is this necessary? Why do you have to judge others, why do you have to criticize others for choosing differently and for following a different path?
I am not the woman that is going to be annoyed that your brought a baby to Twin Peaks with you. But I am going to be the woman that is annoyed that you are criticizing the modesty of the waitresses while you are breast feeding a baby at the table.
Just because you had a baby and you are performing the miracle of feeding doesn't make it any more or less modest thanthe woman wearing the "skanky waitress outfit". Having a baby doesn't make you special and it doesn't make you part of an elite club.
I am the woman that gets annoyed when a couple brings an infant to a movie theater. In fact I think it shouldn't be allowed. You wanted to have a baby. Well groovy. Good for you. But, I didn't ask or pay to be in club. I paid to see a movie and would prefer to hear it as well. Pay someone to babysit your child so that you can enjoy a movie with your husband. It's as if couples do this on purpose, it is there way of saying "welcome to our world". Well, I prefer to have to pay my dues until I owe my dues.
Happy almost Friday!
A little recent perception has shown me that not ALL life changing events put you in a different more elite club.
For example, when you graduate high school. You all graduated and you are all starting your independent life. When you get start dating, it doesn't mean you don't hang out with your single friends. When you get married, you still don't stop hanging out with your single friends and you don't stop hanging out with your friends in general. But..........................
Have a baby and suddenly you are kicked out of the previous club you didn't even realize you were in and admitted into a totally new one. The one where frumpy, bored, miserable women convince you that it's the greatest experience ever. The one where women overreact to absolutely everything in the most ridiculous situations ever. The one where any woman that hasn't had a baby isn't as much as a hard worker or as sacrificial as the woman staying home with the baby.
Well here's a newsflash. Giving birth is not new news. Having babies has been going on for YEARS. Get over yourself. If you are "frumpy" (and I don't use that word lightly, more on that later) then it is self inflicted. Most moms now use that at their new secret identity. Except it's not really all that secret.
Frumpy: Dowdy, Drab, Dull, Unfashionable. Ok so the fashionable part is irrelevant. But the dowdy, drab and dull. Really? Pair with the "Ragamuffin" and your set for endless low self esteem and dread to each waking morning.
Just because you had a baby doesn't mean you don't have to care about yourself. Perhaps if you went that extra mile for yourself you wouldn't feel or act the way you do? I am not asking you. I am asking you to ask yourself.
I watch woman go through this transformation almost every time and every time I question whether I will do this or not. The answer is..........
NO! Absolutely not. I maintain that if you feel good in your body and feel good about yourself then you will feel good about being a mother and won't feel the need to guilt other unexpecting woman to be well......expecting.
I hate the prying questions at the get togethers,
Person 1: "So how many kids do you have" (overly sweet and syrupy voice)
Me: None (casual)
Person 1: "Oh, well when will yall be starting a family?" (still sweet, but traces of overbearing curiosity and interest)
Me: Oh, whenever we take an interest in it. (still casual)
Person 1: "Oh, well how old are you?" (eyes have started to squint and blatant interrogation style questioning has begun)
Me: 27 (casual and unphased.....oh wait not unphased a slight bit of pride has creeped into my voice, because yes, I have managed to be married for 4 years and not had kids yet)
Person 1: "Wow, well you better get started soon." (Mixed tones of jealousy, anger, astonishment, and overall shock leading to "I must say something bitterly encouraging")
Me: Nah, I'm not worried about it. *and I walk away*
This is a typical example of what people in the club say to people not in the club.
Why? Why is this necessary? Why do you have to judge others, why do you have to criticize others for choosing differently and for following a different path?
I am not the woman that is going to be annoyed that your brought a baby to Twin Peaks with you. But I am going to be the woman that is annoyed that you are criticizing the modesty of the waitresses while you are breast feeding a baby at the table.
Just because you had a baby and you are performing the miracle of feeding doesn't make it any more or less modest thanthe woman wearing the "skanky waitress outfit". Having a baby doesn't make you special and it doesn't make you part of an elite club.
I am the woman that gets annoyed when a couple brings an infant to a movie theater. In fact I think it shouldn't be allowed. You wanted to have a baby. Well groovy. Good for you. But, I didn't ask or pay to be in club. I paid to see a movie and would prefer to hear it as well. Pay someone to babysit your child so that you can enjoy a movie with your husband. It's as if couples do this on purpose, it is there way of saying "welcome to our world". Well, I prefer to have to pay my dues until I owe my dues.
Happy almost Friday!
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Children, to have them young or to have them when you are well aged....that is the question
Has anyone else noticed the huge percentage of girls under the age of 20 having kids (and not just on accident) but purposefully wanting kids at that age? Well I have noticed.
If that's one's choice then I guess it is what it is. However, can these girls even explain why they want kids at such a young age (other than "babies are cute", " I love the smell of babies", "I just want to be a mother"... etc). I am not dissing on these perfectly lovely reasons that were plucked straight from puffy white clouds floating above of us, but shouldn't they be thinking about what all comes with this responsibility? These aren't stuffed animals or pets for that matter. They are little mini humans that will grow up affected by what choices the parents makes. They may not take into account and notice things at 6 months, 1 year, 2 years. But by the time they're 3? They will be remembering everything. Copying everything. Watching and learning by what you do. Scary right? You will be their greatest example in everything.
I know some girls that just want to get married, have a home and have kids. That's all they want to do. Nothing wrong with that. But, let's just say you just finished school, you're 18 and you are in love, you get married......whala! One month later you're expecting. You may very well be ready for that because that's what you've wanted your whole life. But what happens if you reach 30 years old and realize that you have five kids and you are still doing exactly what you were doing when you turned 18. If that wasn't enough odds are you still have another almost 10 years until your finished raising the oldest of your five. So you will probably be well into your 50s by the time you have finished raising your last child. And what have you done? I know you can enjoy a lot while taking "family vacations" and "retirement" but keep in mind when you vacation and have experiences with kids, you have less funds, less freedom, less physical energy and less overall ability to do things other than what is fitting for children. When you are retired you have plenty of funds, plenty of freedom, less physical energy (possibly health) and just overall physical ability to do things that you could have done in your 20s, even 30s.
What about the girls that aren't even done with school, aren't in a serious relationship (let alone married) and they get pregnant? The interesting part is that they are actually excited about this. They aren't embarrassed and they aren't concerned. Wait for it.....they are overjoyed! They are excited! They are can't wait for their little bundle of joy. Gee, great. Another child that childless people have to help raise (tax money). Especially considering this particular group will probably and most likely be on some form of welfare, WIC, etc.
The other group are girls that have finished school and are just plain screw-ups. They haven't set out to do anything they originally wanted to accomplish. They have a dead beat boyfriend and they barely make it by as it is. Yet, they are happily bringing a baby into this dysfunctional conjunction of a life that they live. Oh and by the way this group will also be accepting some form of welfare assistance, I have no doubt.
I see more and more of these three examples everyday. I am 27 and I don't have kids...yet. I definitely want a child. My husband and I talk about more often now than we used too. We have been married for 4 1/2 years and we have been enjoying that experience. I truly think that people that wait at least 1 year before starting a family with kids have an extremely smooth adventure ahead of them. When you jump right into having kids you aren't giving yourself enough time to get used to living together. Kids don't need to be subjected to this kind of imbalance.
I want to be able to tell my kids about my experiences (which may not necessarily be something as exotic as swimming with whales, or kayaking in Alaska) but parasailing, visiting Caribbean islands, etc. are experiences they wonderful things to enjoy. I want to be able to pull out my photo albums and show them cool stuff and have suggestions for things that they should try.
You are going to want your kids to have wonderful experiences. You are going to want them to live life to the fullest. Encourage this!
But hey, sometimes they really are people that just want to go through life pregnant and are addicted to the smell of a newborn baby. Kudos to you. That takes a truly special woman. For those of you who do decide to wait, DON'T (I cannot stress this enough) feel guilty. Life is short, live it!
If that's one's choice then I guess it is what it is. However, can these girls even explain why they want kids at such a young age (other than "babies are cute", " I love the smell of babies", "I just want to be a mother"... etc). I am not dissing on these perfectly lovely reasons that were plucked straight from puffy white clouds floating above of us, but shouldn't they be thinking about what all comes with this responsibility? These aren't stuffed animals or pets for that matter. They are little mini humans that will grow up affected by what choices the parents makes. They may not take into account and notice things at 6 months, 1 year, 2 years. But by the time they're 3? They will be remembering everything. Copying everything. Watching and learning by what you do. Scary right? You will be their greatest example in everything.
I know some girls that just want to get married, have a home and have kids. That's all they want to do. Nothing wrong with that. But, let's just say you just finished school, you're 18 and you are in love, you get married......whala! One month later you're expecting. You may very well be ready for that because that's what you've wanted your whole life. But what happens if you reach 30 years old and realize that you have five kids and you are still doing exactly what you were doing when you turned 18. If that wasn't enough odds are you still have another almost 10 years until your finished raising the oldest of your five. So you will probably be well into your 50s by the time you have finished raising your last child. And what have you done? I know you can enjoy a lot while taking "family vacations" and "retirement" but keep in mind when you vacation and have experiences with kids, you have less funds, less freedom, less physical energy and less overall ability to do things other than what is fitting for children. When you are retired you have plenty of funds, plenty of freedom, less physical energy (possibly health) and just overall physical ability to do things that you could have done in your 20s, even 30s.
What about the girls that aren't even done with school, aren't in a serious relationship (let alone married) and they get pregnant? The interesting part is that they are actually excited about this. They aren't embarrassed and they aren't concerned. Wait for it.....they are overjoyed! They are excited! They are can't wait for their little bundle of joy. Gee, great. Another child that childless people have to help raise (tax money). Especially considering this particular group will probably and most likely be on some form of welfare, WIC, etc.
The other group are girls that have finished school and are just plain screw-ups. They haven't set out to do anything they originally wanted to accomplish. They have a dead beat boyfriend and they barely make it by as it is. Yet, they are happily bringing a baby into this dysfunctional conjunction of a life that they live. Oh and by the way this group will also be accepting some form of welfare assistance, I have no doubt.
I see more and more of these three examples everyday. I am 27 and I don't have kids...yet. I definitely want a child. My husband and I talk about more often now than we used too. We have been married for 4 1/2 years and we have been enjoying that experience. I truly think that people that wait at least 1 year before starting a family with kids have an extremely smooth adventure ahead of them. When you jump right into having kids you aren't giving yourself enough time to get used to living together. Kids don't need to be subjected to this kind of imbalance.
I want to be able to tell my kids about my experiences (which may not necessarily be something as exotic as swimming with whales, or kayaking in Alaska) but parasailing, visiting Caribbean islands, etc. are experiences they wonderful things to enjoy. I want to be able to pull out my photo albums and show them cool stuff and have suggestions for things that they should try.
You are going to want your kids to have wonderful experiences. You are going to want them to live life to the fullest. Encourage this!
But hey, sometimes they really are people that just want to go through life pregnant and are addicted to the smell of a newborn baby. Kudos to you. That takes a truly special woman. For those of you who do decide to wait, DON'T (I cannot stress this enough) feel guilty. Life is short, live it!
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Pro Vaccine, Anti Vaccine, What's the Difference, It's Just Two Groups In a Pissing Contest
I am so SICK of the pissing contest between Pro Vaccinators and Anti Vaccinators. All either of these groups care about is judging the other and a child actually does get sick from either group, there is an immediate "ha ha I told you so" or "You had it coming, you never should have ignored vaccines" or "You had it coming you never should have gotten them vaccinated".
Really? Shouldn't we all want the same thing? Shouldn't we all want the health and well being of our children?
There are a few things that I can't help but used as examples (of course some if not many will say that these are easily explained).
One: If vaccines are unimportant and actually make you sick rather than keep you from getting sick, than why has the number of cases of measles, polio, influenza, whooping cough, etc. gotten smaller rather than bigger? I can't honestly remember the last time we had a major epidemic. I know people think that the vaccines cause autoimmune diseases and SIDS. Yes, maybe a vaccination does cause this but again what about the fact that thousands used to die of these diseases everyday (parents lived in fear for their children's lives) and now there are only a handful cases in a year?
Two: If natural is better, than why wasn't it working generation after generation after generation. You would think that sanitation and healthy eating would be enough. But do we really know if it is?
Three: It seems as though some (anti vaccinators) just want to be right. They want to find the answer themselves. They want to be independent to a point that they need no assistance whatsoever.
Something that is curious to me is that most people that are anti-vaccines are also completely against hospital birth or hospital aided birth. They will support birthing centers or homebirth. Now, I am not criticizing the bravery and strength of women who choose to have a baby by home birth/birthing center, however if that's the case then why are they so intent on criticizing those that choose hospital birth? Because of arrogance.
Arrogance is what I truly believe will be the downfall involving the winning side of vaccines/no vaccines. Because let's face it, eventually one will outweigh the other.
Why do I think arrogance is a key factor?
Example, so if lack of healthy diet and sanitation are what originally caused epidemics then what caused births gone bad, babies to died at birth, women to die giving birth, babies to died after being born, why did women fill out a will prior to give birth due to not knowing that outcome. Midwives have been around to help almost as long as women giving birth have. Yet things still went wrong.
How is natural better, when natural is all there ever used to be. Yet, things still went wrong. Birth was dangerous, birth was scary. Granted it is an exaggeration but in "period movies" the most common explanation of man's tragedy is his wife dying in childbirth. Why? Because it is realistic. It was and is common. You mostly hear of successful home births and birthing center experiences. Yet there are just as many sad outcomes.
PLEASE STOP being so judgmental of others. Make your decisions confidently and with faith in God and STOP judging other people's methods.
Couple of links in favor of vaccinations, just some food for thought. The "double standard" link is not jab, but it is certainly a comeback to the popular double standard post aimed at pro vaccinators.
http://thelogicofscience.com/2015/07/13/10-hypocrisiesdouble-standards-of-the-anti-vaccine-movement/
http://www.bluntmoms.com/hey-non-vaccinators-youre-welcome/
Really? Shouldn't we all want the same thing? Shouldn't we all want the health and well being of our children?
There are a few things that I can't help but used as examples (of course some if not many will say that these are easily explained).
One: If vaccines are unimportant and actually make you sick rather than keep you from getting sick, than why has the number of cases of measles, polio, influenza, whooping cough, etc. gotten smaller rather than bigger? I can't honestly remember the last time we had a major epidemic. I know people think that the vaccines cause autoimmune diseases and SIDS. Yes, maybe a vaccination does cause this but again what about the fact that thousands used to die of these diseases everyday (parents lived in fear for their children's lives) and now there are only a handful cases in a year?
Two: If natural is better, than why wasn't it working generation after generation after generation. You would think that sanitation and healthy eating would be enough. But do we really know if it is?
Three: It seems as though some (anti vaccinators) just want to be right. They want to find the answer themselves. They want to be independent to a point that they need no assistance whatsoever.
Something that is curious to me is that most people that are anti-vaccines are also completely against hospital birth or hospital aided birth. They will support birthing centers or homebirth. Now, I am not criticizing the bravery and strength of women who choose to have a baby by home birth/birthing center, however if that's the case then why are they so intent on criticizing those that choose hospital birth? Because of arrogance.
Arrogance is what I truly believe will be the downfall involving the winning side of vaccines/no vaccines. Because let's face it, eventually one will outweigh the other.
Why do I think arrogance is a key factor?
Example, so if lack of healthy diet and sanitation are what originally caused epidemics then what caused births gone bad, babies to died at birth, women to die giving birth, babies to died after being born, why did women fill out a will prior to give birth due to not knowing that outcome. Midwives have been around to help almost as long as women giving birth have. Yet things still went wrong.
How is natural better, when natural is all there ever used to be. Yet, things still went wrong. Birth was dangerous, birth was scary. Granted it is an exaggeration but in "period movies" the most common explanation of man's tragedy is his wife dying in childbirth. Why? Because it is realistic. It was and is common. You mostly hear of successful home births and birthing center experiences. Yet there are just as many sad outcomes.
PLEASE STOP being so judgmental of others. Make your decisions confidently and with faith in God and STOP judging other people's methods.
Couple of links in favor of vaccinations, just some food for thought. The "double standard" link is not jab, but it is certainly a comeback to the popular double standard post aimed at pro vaccinators.
http://thelogicofscience.com/2015/07/13/10-hypocrisiesdouble-standards-of-the-anti-vaccine-movement/
http://www.bluntmoms.com/hey-non-vaccinators-youre-welcome/
Friday, August 14, 2015
Guilty or Not Guilty?
Just some food for thought. But, it is extremely odd that all of a sudden 50 women with similar stories are all suddenly coming forward and accusing Bill Cosby. It is interesting that some of these women have inconsistencies in their stories. Some of these women claim to have accepted money from him, let him pay their bills, voluntarily took pills that he "gave to them" and also none of these women (irrelevant if they were believed or not) went and had a rape test done to have some proof that they did take action at the time of the crimes. It is also very interesting that MANY people take offense to Bill Cosby (due to what he or what we thought he stood for). I am not going to downplay that rape is often brushed under the rug and never dealt with. However, wealthy people are often victims of lies and conspiracies, especially wealthy people that are outspoken. I am not taking sides, however because these women waited so long to suddenly speak up and because they took no action to have proof of what happened then I don't think even with a trial that I could ever truly say. It is entirely possible that someone seriously dislikes Cosby enough to have an agenda against him. To offer to pay women to be on it. It is not uncommon to try and crush someone's legacy.
I also find it hard to believe that a show that ran for a decade where Cosby had a busy life with his on screen family, that none of these people saw any suspicious behavior. If he truly was as promiscuous as they say.
If he truly did this, I pity those women. But I also criticize them. They should have spoke up, they should have made a stand, they should have gone to a hospital and had a rape test done and filed. Even if it wasn't believe then, if a string of women were to consistently do this and have actual proof. Then it would not be hard to bring this sort of thing down.
You should not fear not being believed when you have spoken up and taken a stand. You should fear not believed because you never made the effort to be believed.
My final comment is to those that think because in interviews he has been quoted as saying "I don't want to talk about that" if he indeed didn't do it, then I can see why he wouldn't want to talk about it. To have the image that he has had for so long and suddenly see it crumble. I would be offended and annoyed to hear the question. Also, it is disrespectful and in bad taste for journalism to use an interview for an art exhibit to get Hollywood gossip out of the accused, especially after having requested that it not be brought up.
If he is wrong, I hope justice is served. If he is not, he is owed an apology.
Interesting blog post that helps give perspective to both sides
http://thyblackman.com/2014/10/21/is-bill-cosby-guilty-of-hurting-women-its-more-complex-than-you-might-think/
I also find it hard to believe that a show that ran for a decade where Cosby had a busy life with his on screen family, that none of these people saw any suspicious behavior. If he truly was as promiscuous as they say.
If he truly did this, I pity those women. But I also criticize them. They should have spoke up, they should have made a stand, they should have gone to a hospital and had a rape test done and filed. Even if it wasn't believe then, if a string of women were to consistently do this and have actual proof. Then it would not be hard to bring this sort of thing down.
You should not fear not being believed when you have spoken up and taken a stand. You should fear not believed because you never made the effort to be believed.
My final comment is to those that think because in interviews he has been quoted as saying "I don't want to talk about that" if he indeed didn't do it, then I can see why he wouldn't want to talk about it. To have the image that he has had for so long and suddenly see it crumble. I would be offended and annoyed to hear the question. Also, it is disrespectful and in bad taste for journalism to use an interview for an art exhibit to get Hollywood gossip out of the accused, especially after having requested that it not be brought up.
If he is wrong, I hope justice is served. If he is not, he is owed an apology.
Interesting blog post that helps give perspective to both sides
http://thyblackman.com/2014/10/21/is-bill-cosby-guilty-of-hurting-women-its-more-complex-than-you-might-think/
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Parenting 101 from a Single Married Person
I know this is going to sound like mute point to some and to others it will be a sign of comfort that someone else has noticed but WHAT THE CRAP IS IT WITH MODERN PARENTING and THEIR BRATS?
Every time I go to the store I see some mom struggling with kids. Now, I am not being a cynic and saying in general "struggling with kids" I mean literally struggling. She is trying to push a cart and grab groceries, meanwhile her wild animals...er....I mean sweet innocent children are wreaking havoc on the store and it's other shoppers. It doesn't matter what she says they just continue on. Everything from bumping into other shoppers, not moving out of the way, knocking stuff off the shelves, etc. you name it they're doing it. Yet, the mom has either no assertiveness in her voice when she (more often IF) she corrects and then other times it's over assertiveness making her sound weak and frustrating, leaving the kids with the notion that it is time to "go in for the kill", "finish her off", "Take out the weak one of the pack", you get where I am going with this. No RESPECT. No ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of her authority. So, where does it come from? No child is born this way. Therefore, the fault is with the parent.
First of all teaching your kids manners is more than just "Yes ma'am, No ma'am" and "Yes sir, No sir". They can just as easily be respectfully disrespectful.
Example: If you have told your child to do something and they look at you and say "no", don't correct them and say "You do not say no, you say no ma'am". I'm sorry, but really? You're just asking for it, in fact I will go a step further you deserve it! Don't give them permission to disrespect you. It should be "Do NOT tell me no, you say yes ma'am". Saying it that way doesn't leave them with thoughts of an ultimatum. BTW, I know you probably think that the words I am using don't come into a child's head and your right not these specific words. But, yes they are thinking of these methods and processes, which leads me to secondly.
Secondly, DON'T underestimate your child. They are not stupid, they're just disrespectful hooligans that have somehow begun to rule your life. Just relate it to Planet of the Apes. They watch and learn and mostly importantly remember.
Next up "child proofing your home" note I didn't say "baby proof" I said "child proof". REALLY? On what sick planet did you grow up? My parents didn't baby proof anything, let alone child proof. I cannot begin to tell you how many facebook posts I saw last year of Christmas literally falling over (due to meddling) and women who have come up with the idea to decorate their tree in all plastic ornaments until the kids are old enough to not break the nice pretty delicate glass ones. Of course if you comment on any these you leave yourself wide open for the classic line "you'll understand when you have kids". Yes, I will understand. I will understand that while you are putting a plastic tree to avoid disaster that I will be still be enjoying my vintage glass ball and hallmark ornament tree. Why take the risk? Because, as soon as you hide the delicate items in your house and stop putting out your pretty things because you don't want them broken, you open a door to a whole new problem. You have just enabled your child. You have given them the realization that they can do whatever they want. When you child proof your home and then take your kids to someone else's home and something gets broken BECAUSE of your child's BAD MANNERS this is not the fault of the people who don't have a child proof home.
My mother had five children. She didn't have kids for the first 2 years of marriage. Once she did, she never stopped putting out her 5 glass nativities at Christmas or decorating her Christmas tree with hundreds of glass balls, or setting out her delicate German made nutcrackers, or placing her hand painted ceramic Santa on the floor by the fireplace......GASP on the floor! Oh my, you live dangerously. No, not really. She just lived in reality. The reality that she is boss and we lived with the understanding that if we broke something that weren't supposed to be touching to begin with, our lives were in her hands.
Yet, friends would come over and their child would break something of my mom's (which did happen at least once) and the response from the parent is that "you shouldn't keep breakable things out and in child's reach". WRONG! Not only would I expect a greater response from the parent of the unruly child, I expect compensation and I sure as heck don't want to be corrected in my own home where my own kids have never broken any of my precious items.
So fourthly, "Is My Child a Brat?". Well first of all babies learn fast. They know what they can get away with and when they can get away with it. Like crying, if you pay attention very shortly into the early mother stages you will notice that baby cries because it needs something and then not much later in the mothering stage, you will noticed that they cry also be cause they WANT something. WANT and NEED are not the same at all. As soon as that child is not crying because they have a dirty diaper, or because they are hungry, or because they are sleepy it is time to take action. By this I mean, let them cry it out. Don't pick them up and soothe them just for the sake of soothing them. You are beginning to enable them as soon as you start this bad habit.
If you let your child poor milk on the floor at home and stomp through it and make a mess then they are no doubt going to do this at someone else's home. If you let them pick up things that aren't theirs and hit and smash it against other stuff, then they will do that at other people's home. If you take away all things that you don't want damaged, then will go ape crazy at someone else's home. Don't make your children unbearable for other people to be around. Sure, some of your stuff will probably get broken in the learning process. However, very shortly you will notice that you are able to have a pretty centerpiece in the middle of the coffee table instead of sticky handprints, legos and empty sippy cups. There is a perfectly good floor surrounding the tiny island of "COFFEE TABLE". The floor is the ocean where you can take your speed boats and jet skis and be obnoxious, the coffee table is the all inclusive resort where the adults go, NO CHILDREN ALLOWED. Know the boundaries, teach the boundaries and enforce the boundaries.
Complain about the entire house being covered with toys and all things child related? STOP. They don't have their own freaking bedroom just to have a place to sleep. This is their domain. Toys, books, clothes, all forms of messiness stays in that room. The house doesn't belong to them, they don't pay the bills. Make them respect it and in return your children will be friggin joy for other people to be around not just you. What a blessing that would be.
Lastly technology. Really people? Go outside and play waterguns, cowboys and Indians, turn that troll house into a GI Joe fort, have a Barbie fashion show. No child needs a kindle, ipad, ipadmini, airpad, nookie, littlenookie, and whatever else it is that they have out for kids now. The bottom line is you are going to tell yourself that you are buying this for your child because it is "educational" or "they only get to use it for educational games" or the excuse of "it's no different than watching tv" and the list goes on. The bottom line is you are getting this for your child so they will have something to keep them "out of your hair for a while" something to plug them into while at a guest's house or at social events, something to occupy them while in the car. WRONG. These are the best times and the best ways to start that early education. If they start out with these pieces of technology it WILL impair their ability to communicate and to have a mature conversation. It WILL make them unsocial (you think homeschooling makes people unsocial, try giving a 3 year old an ipad). I was shy as child and didn't talk to my peers much. But, when I was 13 I could have full on conversations with an 80 year old at a nursing home. I knew how to talk and how to carry on a mature conversation.
So you want your child to learn to read quickly? Give them a book? NO not a KINDLE, a book? Ever heard of it? Oh, I'm sorry you probably couldn't hear me, you gave all your attention to page 100 of Fifty Shades of Grey ON YOUR KINDLE! Get off the kindle! and on that note get a life, read a real book. Ok sorry getting off track sometimes I forget that the modern adults are as bad as the little children.
No, your child doesn't need a phone at the age of 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, even 10. Phones come into necessity at age 16 when they are having to get jobs and start driving. I personally don't want my child's first photo be a "selfie".
Ok, rant over!
Every time I go to the store I see some mom struggling with kids. Now, I am not being a cynic and saying in general "struggling with kids" I mean literally struggling. She is trying to push a cart and grab groceries, meanwhile her wild animals...er....I mean sweet innocent children are wreaking havoc on the store and it's other shoppers. It doesn't matter what she says they just continue on. Everything from bumping into other shoppers, not moving out of the way, knocking stuff off the shelves, etc. you name it they're doing it. Yet, the mom has either no assertiveness in her voice when she (more often IF) she corrects and then other times it's over assertiveness making her sound weak and frustrating, leaving the kids with the notion that it is time to "go in for the kill", "finish her off", "Take out the weak one of the pack", you get where I am going with this. No RESPECT. No ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of her authority. So, where does it come from? No child is born this way. Therefore, the fault is with the parent.
First of all teaching your kids manners is more than just "Yes ma'am, No ma'am" and "Yes sir, No sir". They can just as easily be respectfully disrespectful.
Example: If you have told your child to do something and they look at you and say "no", don't correct them and say "You do not say no, you say no ma'am". I'm sorry, but really? You're just asking for it, in fact I will go a step further you deserve it! Don't give them permission to disrespect you. It should be "Do NOT tell me no, you say yes ma'am". Saying it that way doesn't leave them with thoughts of an ultimatum. BTW, I know you probably think that the words I am using don't come into a child's head and your right not these specific words. But, yes they are thinking of these methods and processes, which leads me to secondly.
Secondly, DON'T underestimate your child. They are not stupid, they're just disrespectful hooligans that have somehow begun to rule your life. Just relate it to Planet of the Apes. They watch and learn and mostly importantly remember.
Next up "child proofing your home" note I didn't say "baby proof" I said "child proof". REALLY? On what sick planet did you grow up? My parents didn't baby proof anything, let alone child proof. I cannot begin to tell you how many facebook posts I saw last year of Christmas literally falling over (due to meddling) and women who have come up with the idea to decorate their tree in all plastic ornaments until the kids are old enough to not break the nice pretty delicate glass ones. Of course if you comment on any these you leave yourself wide open for the classic line "you'll understand when you have kids". Yes, I will understand. I will understand that while you are putting a plastic tree to avoid disaster that I will be still be enjoying my vintage glass ball and hallmark ornament tree. Why take the risk? Because, as soon as you hide the delicate items in your house and stop putting out your pretty things because you don't want them broken, you open a door to a whole new problem. You have just enabled your child. You have given them the realization that they can do whatever they want. When you child proof your home and then take your kids to someone else's home and something gets broken BECAUSE of your child's BAD MANNERS this is not the fault of the people who don't have a child proof home.
My mother had five children. She didn't have kids for the first 2 years of marriage. Once she did, she never stopped putting out her 5 glass nativities at Christmas or decorating her Christmas tree with hundreds of glass balls, or setting out her delicate German made nutcrackers, or placing her hand painted ceramic Santa on the floor by the fireplace......GASP on the floor! Oh my, you live dangerously. No, not really. She just lived in reality. The reality that she is boss and we lived with the understanding that if we broke something that weren't supposed to be touching to begin with, our lives were in her hands.
Yet, friends would come over and their child would break something of my mom's (which did happen at least once) and the response from the parent is that "you shouldn't keep breakable things out and in child's reach". WRONG! Not only would I expect a greater response from the parent of the unruly child, I expect compensation and I sure as heck don't want to be corrected in my own home where my own kids have never broken any of my precious items.
So fourthly, "Is My Child a Brat?". Well first of all babies learn fast. They know what they can get away with and when they can get away with it. Like crying, if you pay attention very shortly into the early mother stages you will notice that baby cries because it needs something and then not much later in the mothering stage, you will noticed that they cry also be cause they WANT something. WANT and NEED are not the same at all. As soon as that child is not crying because they have a dirty diaper, or because they are hungry, or because they are sleepy it is time to take action. By this I mean, let them cry it out. Don't pick them up and soothe them just for the sake of soothing them. You are beginning to enable them as soon as you start this bad habit.
If you let your child poor milk on the floor at home and stomp through it and make a mess then they are no doubt going to do this at someone else's home. If you let them pick up things that aren't theirs and hit and smash it against other stuff, then they will do that at other people's home. If you take away all things that you don't want damaged, then will go ape crazy at someone else's home. Don't make your children unbearable for other people to be around. Sure, some of your stuff will probably get broken in the learning process. However, very shortly you will notice that you are able to have a pretty centerpiece in the middle of the coffee table instead of sticky handprints, legos and empty sippy cups. There is a perfectly good floor surrounding the tiny island of "COFFEE TABLE". The floor is the ocean where you can take your speed boats and jet skis and be obnoxious, the coffee table is the all inclusive resort where the adults go, NO CHILDREN ALLOWED. Know the boundaries, teach the boundaries and enforce the boundaries.
Complain about the entire house being covered with toys and all things child related? STOP. They don't have their own freaking bedroom just to have a place to sleep. This is their domain. Toys, books, clothes, all forms of messiness stays in that room. The house doesn't belong to them, they don't pay the bills. Make them respect it and in return your children will be friggin joy for other people to be around not just you. What a blessing that would be.
Lastly technology. Really people? Go outside and play waterguns, cowboys and Indians, turn that troll house into a GI Joe fort, have a Barbie fashion show. No child needs a kindle, ipad, ipadmini, airpad, nookie, littlenookie, and whatever else it is that they have out for kids now. The bottom line is you are going to tell yourself that you are buying this for your child because it is "educational" or "they only get to use it for educational games" or the excuse of "it's no different than watching tv" and the list goes on. The bottom line is you are getting this for your child so they will have something to keep them "out of your hair for a while" something to plug them into while at a guest's house or at social events, something to occupy them while in the car. WRONG. These are the best times and the best ways to start that early education. If they start out with these pieces of technology it WILL impair their ability to communicate and to have a mature conversation. It WILL make them unsocial (you think homeschooling makes people unsocial, try giving a 3 year old an ipad). I was shy as child and didn't talk to my peers much. But, when I was 13 I could have full on conversations with an 80 year old at a nursing home. I knew how to talk and how to carry on a mature conversation.
So you want your child to learn to read quickly? Give them a book? NO not a KINDLE, a book? Ever heard of it? Oh, I'm sorry you probably couldn't hear me, you gave all your attention to page 100 of Fifty Shades of Grey ON YOUR KINDLE! Get off the kindle! and on that note get a life, read a real book. Ok sorry getting off track sometimes I forget that the modern adults are as bad as the little children.
No, your child doesn't need a phone at the age of 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, even 10. Phones come into necessity at age 16 when they are having to get jobs and start driving. I personally don't want my child's first photo be a "selfie".
Ok, rant over!
Friday, March 6, 2015
No to Dogs, Yes to Kids.....
Good Morning! I know everyone is thinking Yay for Friday! I hear ya, very exciting weekend to look forward. Parents are coming for a visit and Monday we will start the closing on our house :).
Speaking of homes, how many of you have dogs/cats? How many of you have kids? How many of you have both? How many of you allow kids but won't allow dogs/cats in the house?
I totally get the people that don't have kids and don't allow pets in the house. Makes sense, germ freaks, control freaks, or just plain clean freaks. But what about parents that have kids but don't want dogs in the house? Cats I kind of understand (obviously not a cat person). I think the whole litter box thing is disgusting and to top it off cats tear everything unless they are declawed. Plus they can jump and get places that dogs can't. But hey, to each their own.
Back to not allowing pets in the house, but kids are ok? So, reasons?
Dogs have accidents in the house
Dogs shed hair
Dogs get fleas
Dogs need to be taken outside to potty, which is annoying
Dogs, when walking you have to pick up their doo doo and place in bag to dispose of
Dogs chew stuff
Dogs tear stuff up
Dogs are messy
Dogs are high maintenance
Dog Sitters
Ok, so think about all of those reasons and think about what your child does
Kids have accidents in the house ALL OF THE TIME 24/7 actually
Kids don't shed hair but they do pick their nose and wipe stuff on stuff amongst other nasty habits
Kids don't get fleas, but they can get lice.
Kids have to be taken to the bathroom when they need to potty or diaper changed, whichever stage you are at
Kids have to have their diapers changed and disposed of when out and about
Kids chew stuff
Kids tear stuff up
Kids are messy
Kids can be very high maintenance
Kids need baby sitters
WOW, everything sounds so similar. What does it all lead to in my point? My point is some people have dogs first others have kids first, and just because someone has dogs instead of kids doesn't mean you should make it difficult for the owners.
If you have kids in the house and your reasons for no dogs in the house match any of the reasons above, then your an idiot. It is unfair and unreasonable to have friends (that have dogs) to come over and are expected to leave their dogs at home or at a kennel because you don't like dogs in the house.
Meanwhile, your 4 years old just spilt a glass of milk on the new couch, the 2 year old just stuck their hand in their diaper then ran their hand down the hallway wall. Yeah. I see your point. Dogs are sooooo much worse.......
Another note, the excuse "I just don't like dogs". Doesn't fly with me either. I don't necessarily like kids, but I am not about to tell you that when you come over you have leave them at home or they have to stay in the car. I mean come on? Really?
All I am asking is that people think before they react and make a rule. It has to be legit rule and reason, like I am allergic to dogs, or your dog doesn't do well with kids, and we just had a baby, etc.
Just food for thought!
Speaking of homes, how many of you have dogs/cats? How many of you have kids? How many of you have both? How many of you allow kids but won't allow dogs/cats in the house?
I totally get the people that don't have kids and don't allow pets in the house. Makes sense, germ freaks, control freaks, or just plain clean freaks. But what about parents that have kids but don't want dogs in the house? Cats I kind of understand (obviously not a cat person). I think the whole litter box thing is disgusting and to top it off cats tear everything unless they are declawed. Plus they can jump and get places that dogs can't. But hey, to each their own.
Back to not allowing pets in the house, but kids are ok? So, reasons?
Dogs have accidents in the house
Dogs shed hair
Dogs get fleas
Dogs need to be taken outside to potty, which is annoying
Dogs, when walking you have to pick up their doo doo and place in bag to dispose of
Dogs chew stuff
Dogs tear stuff up
Dogs are messy
Dogs are high maintenance
Dog Sitters
Ok, so think about all of those reasons and think about what your child does
Kids have accidents in the house ALL OF THE TIME 24/7 actually
Kids don't shed hair but they do pick their nose and wipe stuff on stuff amongst other nasty habits
Kids don't get fleas, but they can get lice.
Kids have to be taken to the bathroom when they need to potty or diaper changed, whichever stage you are at
Kids have to have their diapers changed and disposed of when out and about
Kids chew stuff
Kids tear stuff up
Kids are messy
Kids can be very high maintenance
Kids need baby sitters
WOW, everything sounds so similar. What does it all lead to in my point? My point is some people have dogs first others have kids first, and just because someone has dogs instead of kids doesn't mean you should make it difficult for the owners.
If you have kids in the house and your reasons for no dogs in the house match any of the reasons above, then your an idiot. It is unfair and unreasonable to have friends (that have dogs) to come over and are expected to leave their dogs at home or at a kennel because you don't like dogs in the house.
Meanwhile, your 4 years old just spilt a glass of milk on the new couch, the 2 year old just stuck their hand in their diaper then ran their hand down the hallway wall. Yeah. I see your point. Dogs are sooooo much worse.......
Another note, the excuse "I just don't like dogs". Doesn't fly with me either. I don't necessarily like kids, but I am not about to tell you that when you come over you have leave them at home or they have to stay in the car. I mean come on? Really?
All I am asking is that people think before they react and make a rule. It has to be legit rule and reason, like I am allergic to dogs, or your dog doesn't do well with kids, and we just had a baby, etc.
Just food for thought!
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
All in Favor of NOT living in Texas
Ok, so I am sure most people know how hard it is to find "negative" things about Texas online or in conversation with Texans. BTW, I am have lived in Texas all my life and have noticeably hated it since I was 13. About the age when you start realizing important things. Not when is the next Buccees stop, BBQ get togethers, having to drive 30 minutes for take out food, etc.
I have lived near two major cities in Texas. An hour from Houston and 45 minutes from San Antonio. So opposite ends of the spectrum. Both what people consider relatively close to the gulf coast (not what it is hyped up to be). I have worked in a small town and a medium small town. Both gave me huge insights on Texas culture that just can't be ignored. The main one (hidden behind all of that false redneck pride), IGNORANCE.
People don't move here because it is beautiful, awesome weather, scenic, pleasant people. They move here because they want a job (and think we magically provide it and we do.....for all of the illegal immigrants that make up for more than half of the population) and because it is cheaper. Well, ok. You wanted to live someone cheaper, then be prepared for cheap. Cheap culture, cheap quality and cheap morals.
San Augustine (lived most of my life) population: less than 5,000. Couldn't wait to move. The blunt and very obvious reason to not live in Texas. The next biggest town is Nacogdoches (conveniently people nick name it "Nasty Toe Cheese") Between every major city in Texas is about 40 billion (exaggeration) of the small, miserable and down right creepy small towns and communities. Seriously driving anywhere in Texas at night, I make sure my tank is full of gasoline because trust me you don't want to stop at any of these towns.
Kerrville, the next lovely location I chose to move to after marrying my husband. Biggest mistake ever (not the marriage, the town). Population: 22,000. So bigger than I was used to but with even smaller minds and even larger number of registered sex offenders. BTW, Kerrville (Texas Hill Country) is supposedly this amazing, beautiful location that everyone wants to vacation at, retire to, move to. DON'T. Unless you want an endless supply of creepos, breakfast tacos, low quality tex mex (don't even see how that is possible when you live right next door to Mexico) and rednecks. Please don't get me started on one of the huge advertisements for this area: The Guadalupe River. In a few words, it is the nastiest water you won't want to dip your toes into. My husband and I invested in a pool that last 2 years we lived there just so we could survive the MISERABLE Texas summers (which btw last all but one month of the year) and so at the same time didn't have to worry about getting a disease from the river water. Seriously, we swam in the pool from April till October. And seriously don't move here if you expect to find a decent home in a decent area for a decent price. Welcome to the Hill Country you get to live in a stone home surrounded but dust, rocks and sticks. So pleasant.
Huntsville: location after we finally made the best decision ever, to move from Kerrville. Population 34,000 and growing. Obviously it's only an hour from Houston. So far love it. It is pretty, there is a lot of green and lots of hills and turns. Actually a nice variety of restaurants (not the greatest but hey they have something other Denny's and taco shops if you should decide to go enjoy a Sunday morning breakfast.) Stores to shop for groceries other than Wal-Mart and HEB. A huge plus. In Kerrville, heaven help you if you decide to get a few quickie groceries from HEB, rush hour that makes driving thru Houston traffic look pleasant. And funny that it should be an hour from Houston and close to 15,000 more people and yet has 30 less mapped sex offenders than Kerrville.
Obviously, like everywhere in Texas it too will be over populated and miserable. In the meantime I am happy to bide my time living here until we can move out of Texas. I can actually walk my dogs in my neighborhood without feeling the need to have pepper spray and a large stick. My previous neighborhood in Kerrville was a little L street with 12 houses and I was terrified to even walk from one end to the other. Another plus, when I go to the grocery store people actually smile and greet you and carry on conversation with you when checking out. Something I missed for 3 years. There is something going on all the time, so if we choose to do something there is always access to something. My husband and I have done more in the 6 months of living here than we did in 3 years in Kerrville.
I am having difficulty finding negatives but I know that I will start spotting them and identifying them.
Anyways found some forums and blogs sharing my opinions, have some wine and enjoy:
http://shemovedtotexasblessherheart.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2014-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2015-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=3
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Hate-Texas/702146
I have lived near two major cities in Texas. An hour from Houston and 45 minutes from San Antonio. So opposite ends of the spectrum. Both what people consider relatively close to the gulf coast (not what it is hyped up to be). I have worked in a small town and a medium small town. Both gave me huge insights on Texas culture that just can't be ignored. The main one (hidden behind all of that false redneck pride), IGNORANCE.
People don't move here because it is beautiful, awesome weather, scenic, pleasant people. They move here because they want a job (and think we magically provide it and we do.....for all of the illegal immigrants that make up for more than half of the population) and because it is cheaper. Well, ok. You wanted to live someone cheaper, then be prepared for cheap. Cheap culture, cheap quality and cheap morals.
San Augustine (lived most of my life) population: less than 5,000. Couldn't wait to move. The blunt and very obvious reason to not live in Texas. The next biggest town is Nacogdoches (conveniently people nick name it "Nasty Toe Cheese") Between every major city in Texas is about 40 billion (exaggeration) of the small, miserable and down right creepy small towns and communities. Seriously driving anywhere in Texas at night, I make sure my tank is full of gasoline because trust me you don't want to stop at any of these towns.
Kerrville, the next lovely location I chose to move to after marrying my husband. Biggest mistake ever (not the marriage, the town). Population: 22,000. So bigger than I was used to but with even smaller minds and even larger number of registered sex offenders. BTW, Kerrville (Texas Hill Country) is supposedly this amazing, beautiful location that everyone wants to vacation at, retire to, move to. DON'T. Unless you want an endless supply of creepos, breakfast tacos, low quality tex mex (don't even see how that is possible when you live right next door to Mexico) and rednecks. Please don't get me started on one of the huge advertisements for this area: The Guadalupe River. In a few words, it is the nastiest water you won't want to dip your toes into. My husband and I invested in a pool that last 2 years we lived there just so we could survive the MISERABLE Texas summers (which btw last all but one month of the year) and so at the same time didn't have to worry about getting a disease from the river water. Seriously, we swam in the pool from April till October. And seriously don't move here if you expect to find a decent home in a decent area for a decent price. Welcome to the Hill Country you get to live in a stone home surrounded but dust, rocks and sticks. So pleasant.
Huntsville: location after we finally made the best decision ever, to move from Kerrville. Population 34,000 and growing. Obviously it's only an hour from Houston. So far love it. It is pretty, there is a lot of green and lots of hills and turns. Actually a nice variety of restaurants (not the greatest but hey they have something other Denny's and taco shops if you should decide to go enjoy a Sunday morning breakfast.) Stores to shop for groceries other than Wal-Mart and HEB. A huge plus. In Kerrville, heaven help you if you decide to get a few quickie groceries from HEB, rush hour that makes driving thru Houston traffic look pleasant. And funny that it should be an hour from Houston and close to 15,000 more people and yet has 30 less mapped sex offenders than Kerrville.
Obviously, like everywhere in Texas it too will be over populated and miserable. In the meantime I am happy to bide my time living here until we can move out of Texas. I can actually walk my dogs in my neighborhood without feeling the need to have pepper spray and a large stick. My previous neighborhood in Kerrville was a little L street with 12 houses and I was terrified to even walk from one end to the other. Another plus, when I go to the grocery store people actually smile and greet you and carry on conversation with you when checking out. Something I missed for 3 years. There is something going on all the time, so if we choose to do something there is always access to something. My husband and I have done more in the 6 months of living here than we did in 3 years in Kerrville.
I am having difficulty finding negatives but I know that I will start spotting them and identifying them.
Anyways found some forums and blogs sharing my opinions, have some wine and enjoy:
http://shemovedtotexasblessherheart.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2014-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2015-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=3
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Hate-Texas/702146
Friday, February 27, 2015
Kid Friendly TV........But is it Adult Friendly?
So I haven't blogged in a while, things have been busy around here. But, something has caught my attention.....the things that do and don't approve of for their children to watch.
So spongebob......you would think would be the inappropriate list and oddly enough it isn't. In fact in same paragraphs a parent will say they approve of spongebob but absolutely no to South Park and The Simpsons. At least with South Park you are learning sarcastic truth about life. What do kids learn from Spongebob other than nasty jokes and the digression of their speech abilities.
A parent once posted on Facebook that she was "needing suggestions for new kid's movies". Thinking nothing of it, I suggested Rango. My opinion of the movie was that it was funny, intelligent, and though their was some mild language in it (something I highly doubt your child hasn't already been subjected to and if they haven't they should be, I am not a fan of sheltering) and the mom replied back "I have seen Rango, and don't find it appropriate for children". Following my suggestion were movies like Tangled and Veggie Tales.
Why are parents so intent on allowing their child to watch shows and movies that don't do anything for their child's brain other than lull it to sleep and silence? Why can't parents learn the fine line between inappropriate and educational? Growing up we were allowed to watch movies with scary stuff in it and a little bit of mild language. In a way we were weened into it. We never cussed as children or got scared from movies. Parents today are so afraid of this possibility that they shelter their children completely from it and then once their child has unsupervised access to it, they go ape crazy. Self inflicted by the parents for sheltering their child to begin with.
I saw a blog post recently where a guy made a list of 20 inappropriate movies for children and he actually listed the Disney Robin Hood (you know the one with the characters played by animals). Did I miss something?
Something else that gets me is Veggie Tales. Why would you encourage your child to be sucked into Veggie Tales? Oh, and please spare me the "It's a Christian educational cartoon" speech. Honestly the same parents that promote those movies are bashing superhero shows, saying they are unrealistic and noneducational. So a singing vegetable is realistic and a guy with a cape that can fly is not?
Hmmmmmmmm. Yeah, totally makes sense.
Do any of these shows ring a bell?
Teletubbies
Dora the Explorer
Barney
The Wiggles
Rug Rats
Why would any parent in their right mind let their child watch these? One a show I remember distinctly not being allow to watch was "Barney". Looking back, I totally understand why.
Another memory I have as a child was being about 7 years old and some friends from church came other and were not allowed to watch The Muppet Christmas Carol with us because the ghost of Christmas future might scare them. Yet, you go over to this same women's home and she will show a birthing video to the same children saying it is "educational" HUH?!?!?! Did I miss something?
Finally the latest rage.....Frozen. I am so SICK TO DEATH of that movie and all the hype about it. Forcing myself to watch that movie was like a suicide attempt. Worst plot in the world, stupid obnoxious songs and the whole thing is about some stupid sister relationship? huh? The only reason I wanted to see it was because of the cute snowman (who was barely in it). This is something parents actively support for the children? I would rather my kids be watching the classic horror films like Frankenstein, The Wolf Man and Creature of the Black Lagoon. Which we did watch at a very young age when I was growing up and yet again no nightmares, and best of all...... no delusions about life.
Ok, off my soap box now.
Parents, consider the growth of your child's mind. Instead of sheltering it try give it more room. One day that child will grow up to be an adult. Believe it or not, what they watch now will affect how the behave, react and handle life once they are released on their own.
So spongebob......you would think would be the inappropriate list and oddly enough it isn't. In fact in same paragraphs a parent will say they approve of spongebob but absolutely no to South Park and The Simpsons. At least with South Park you are learning sarcastic truth about life. What do kids learn from Spongebob other than nasty jokes and the digression of their speech abilities.
A parent once posted on Facebook that she was "needing suggestions for new kid's movies". Thinking nothing of it, I suggested Rango. My opinion of the movie was that it was funny, intelligent, and though their was some mild language in it (something I highly doubt your child hasn't already been subjected to and if they haven't they should be, I am not a fan of sheltering) and the mom replied back "I have seen Rango, and don't find it appropriate for children". Following my suggestion were movies like Tangled and Veggie Tales.
Why are parents so intent on allowing their child to watch shows and movies that don't do anything for their child's brain other than lull it to sleep and silence? Why can't parents learn the fine line between inappropriate and educational? Growing up we were allowed to watch movies with scary stuff in it and a little bit of mild language. In a way we were weened into it. We never cussed as children or got scared from movies. Parents today are so afraid of this possibility that they shelter their children completely from it and then once their child has unsupervised access to it, they go ape crazy. Self inflicted by the parents for sheltering their child to begin with.
I saw a blog post recently where a guy made a list of 20 inappropriate movies for children and he actually listed the Disney Robin Hood (you know the one with the characters played by animals). Did I miss something?
Something else that gets me is Veggie Tales. Why would you encourage your child to be sucked into Veggie Tales? Oh, and please spare me the "It's a Christian educational cartoon" speech. Honestly the same parents that promote those movies are bashing superhero shows, saying they are unrealistic and noneducational. So a singing vegetable is realistic and a guy with a cape that can fly is not?
Hmmmmmmmm. Yeah, totally makes sense.
Do any of these shows ring a bell?
Teletubbies
Dora the Explorer
Barney
The Wiggles
Rug Rats
Why would any parent in their right mind let their child watch these? One a show I remember distinctly not being allow to watch was "Barney". Looking back, I totally understand why.
Another memory I have as a child was being about 7 years old and some friends from church came other and were not allowed to watch The Muppet Christmas Carol with us because the ghost of Christmas future might scare them. Yet, you go over to this same women's home and she will show a birthing video to the same children saying it is "educational" HUH?!?!?! Did I miss something?
Finally the latest rage.....Frozen. I am so SICK TO DEATH of that movie and all the hype about it. Forcing myself to watch that movie was like a suicide attempt. Worst plot in the world, stupid obnoxious songs and the whole thing is about some stupid sister relationship? huh? The only reason I wanted to see it was because of the cute snowman (who was barely in it). This is something parents actively support for the children? I would rather my kids be watching the classic horror films like Frankenstein, The Wolf Man and Creature of the Black Lagoon. Which we did watch at a very young age when I was growing up and yet again no nightmares, and best of all...... no delusions about life.
Ok, off my soap box now.
Parents, consider the growth of your child's mind. Instead of sheltering it try give it more room. One day that child will grow up to be an adult. Believe it or not, what they watch now will affect how the behave, react and handle life once they are released on their own.
Friday, January 9, 2015
Valentine's Day is Coming
Ok, so it's Friday and my post is gonna be a short one! I am working on some Valentine's Day decorations for my etsy shop.
I have never gone crazy over Valentine's Day decor but everything looks so dull after you take down Christmas decorations that have been up for a month. So, I am adding a few subtle decorations to help boost the color.
Check out what I have so far, more to come:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/Hannahsfunkyjunk?section_id=16216624&ref=shopsection_leftnav_3
Also, I have a coupon code going till the 23rd of January for 15% off a purchase of 15.00 or more.
HAPPY WEEKEND!
I have never gone crazy over Valentine's Day decor but everything looks so dull after you take down Christmas decorations that have been up for a month. So, I am adding a few subtle decorations to help boost the color.
Check out what I have so far, more to come:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/Hannahsfunkyjunk?section_id=16216624&ref=shopsection_leftnav_3
Also, I have a coupon code going till the 23rd of January for 15% off a purchase of 15.00 or more.
HAPPY WEEKEND!
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Essential Oils Gone Crazy
So the Essential Oils craze has increased considerably in the last year. Not just by hardcore herbalists and naturalists but also by everyone people that just want to do what is healthiest.
I am in FULL support. Going to the doctor for every little ailment is a rip off and just flat unnecessary. I feel that we should be taking as much responsibility as possible to prevent ourselves from getting sick, not just hoping for the best.
My personal experience with essential oils has been for cleaning purposes, aromatherapy and beauty. I am just now entering the realm for health. I love the methods for headaches, cramps and allergies. All are very legit and helpful.
For example, a simple whiff of the peppermint oil will curb your appetite and reduce your cravings. This does work. I was sitting up drinking coffee this morning and my stomach just went nuts growling at me and I took a whiff of the afore mentioned oil and seriously haven't had anymore rumblings. Pretty cool stuff.
Now that I have reassured you that I am a supporter of essential oils, I am going to post some links to sites and postings about the "safe ingestion of essential oils". Showing how unsafe it really is and not only because it is uncharted territory. There have been large groups people expressing the hardcore symptoms and side affects they got from ingestion of these oils (not positive ones).
There are two essential oils companies (very largely used and known companies) Young Living and doTerra (doTerra actually came about from a group that were a part of Young Living, so makes sense that they both support the same) that are encouraging people to use the raw essential oils, undiluted and to also use them for ingestion. Neither of which are recommended or safe. The term "Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade" is a term that doTerra adopted for their marketing and that's all it is. There are NO certified essential oils because there is no recognized organization that certifies these oils.
http://www.granolaliving.com/2012/07/why-we-dont-offer-doterra-young-living-or-other-multi-marketing-brands-of-essential-oils/
http://empoweredsustenance.com/ingesting-essential-oils/
This one is particularly informative and very well substantiated (read through the comments)
http://kaylafioravanti.com/warnings-doterra-young-living-wont-tell-you/
http://leetea.hubpages.com/hub/Why-Are-All-the-Articles-that-Suggest-Ingesting-Essential-Oils-is-Safe-Written-by-Young-Living-Sales-Reps
http://glorybeherbals.blogspot.com/2013/03/why-i-will-never-use-young-living.html
http://normalafterall.com/2014/10/02/ive-jumped-off-the-essential-oil-bandwagon/
http://www.weedemandreap.com/essential-oil-myths-dr-pappas/
Ok, I think that will suffice for information for those interested. Oil onward! Enjoy with the proper precautions!
I am in FULL support. Going to the doctor for every little ailment is a rip off and just flat unnecessary. I feel that we should be taking as much responsibility as possible to prevent ourselves from getting sick, not just hoping for the best.
My personal experience with essential oils has been for cleaning purposes, aromatherapy and beauty. I am just now entering the realm for health. I love the methods for headaches, cramps and allergies. All are very legit and helpful.
For example, a simple whiff of the peppermint oil will curb your appetite and reduce your cravings. This does work. I was sitting up drinking coffee this morning and my stomach just went nuts growling at me and I took a whiff of the afore mentioned oil and seriously haven't had anymore rumblings. Pretty cool stuff.
Now that I have reassured you that I am a supporter of essential oils, I am going to post some links to sites and postings about the "safe ingestion of essential oils". Showing how unsafe it really is and not only because it is uncharted territory. There have been large groups people expressing the hardcore symptoms and side affects they got from ingestion of these oils (not positive ones).
There are two essential oils companies (very largely used and known companies) Young Living and doTerra (doTerra actually came about from a group that were a part of Young Living, so makes sense that they both support the same) that are encouraging people to use the raw essential oils, undiluted and to also use them for ingestion. Neither of which are recommended or safe. The term "Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade" is a term that doTerra adopted for their marketing and that's all it is. There are NO certified essential oils because there is no recognized organization that certifies these oils.
http://www.granolaliving.com/2012/07/why-we-dont-offer-doterra-young-living-or-other-multi-marketing-brands-of-essential-oils/
http://empoweredsustenance.com/ingesting-essential-oils/
This one is particularly informative and very well substantiated (read through the comments)
http://kaylafioravanti.com/warnings-doterra-young-living-wont-tell-you/
http://leetea.hubpages.com/hub/Why-Are-All-the-Articles-that-Suggest-Ingesting-Essential-Oils-is-Safe-Written-by-Young-Living-Sales-Reps
http://glorybeherbals.blogspot.com/2013/03/why-i-will-never-use-young-living.html
http://normalafterall.com/2014/10/02/ive-jumped-off-the-essential-oil-bandwagon/
http://www.weedemandreap.com/essential-oil-myths-dr-pappas/
Ok, I think that will suffice for information for those interested. Oil onward! Enjoy with the proper precautions!
Homemade Paleo Mayo
Throughout 2014 I continually tried and experimented with different eating habits for a healthier lifestyle. So far the only one that has continued to make sense without a catch or a monthly payment or even promises of something that can't be guaranteed is the gluten free, paleo style.
Paleo makes sense. It works. You feel better, you are more active, your mood swings are gone you feel energized and to top it off if you are already at a weight that you are content with it will not cause you to gain weight (of course this still means you are in charge of portion control and calorie intake).
I am currently doing a clean eating month, getting rid of all the bad stuff in my system and all of the excess carbs and glucose from the holiday months. My biggest problem from Thanksgiving through Christmas is going to the gym. I would rather be at home looking at the Christmas tree and drinking hot coffee or cocoa by the fire with my husband. So, what better way to get caught up on your healthy habits than a clean eating challenge and heavy gym routine?
Some good things to have around are pre boiled eggs, homemade pesto and of course homemade mayo.
Here is the recipe that I got from my mom (we made this over the holiday season and used it in the dips and cheeseballs that required it and seriously they were devoured).
Homemade Paleo Mayo
4 egg yolks, room temperature
1 T lemon juice or apple cider vinegar (I use the vinegar, since I always have it on hand)
1 tsp Dijon or reg mustard
2/3 cup avocado oil (can use olive oil)
2/3 cup coconut oil, warm (meaning not hard it needs to be in its liquid form)
Salt and pepper, to taste
Blend the yokes in blender or food processor. Then blend in seasonings and lemon juice or apple cider vinegar. Slowly add oils, till creamy. This should take a few minutes to get creamy.
ENJOY!
Whichever coconut oil my mom used, it had a very distinct coconut taste so you could tell in the mayonnaise what it was made of. I really enjoyed the taste it was different and way more satisfying. It depends on what brand you buy though. Mine didn't give it the overly coconuty taste which may be a good thing when trying to get others to adapt to it.
It was so nice to be able to make this without the unhealthy oils or harmful chemicals. Coconut oil is amazing for skin as well, so whatever residue you get on your hands you can just rub in like lotion (unlike canola oil).
Paleo makes sense. It works. You feel better, you are more active, your mood swings are gone you feel energized and to top it off if you are already at a weight that you are content with it will not cause you to gain weight (of course this still means you are in charge of portion control and calorie intake).
I am currently doing a clean eating month, getting rid of all the bad stuff in my system and all of the excess carbs and glucose from the holiday months. My biggest problem from Thanksgiving through Christmas is going to the gym. I would rather be at home looking at the Christmas tree and drinking hot coffee or cocoa by the fire with my husband. So, what better way to get caught up on your healthy habits than a clean eating challenge and heavy gym routine?
Some good things to have around are pre boiled eggs, homemade pesto and of course homemade mayo.
Here is the recipe that I got from my mom (we made this over the holiday season and used it in the dips and cheeseballs that required it and seriously they were devoured).
Homemade Paleo Mayo
4 egg yolks, room temperature
1 T lemon juice or apple cider vinegar (I use the vinegar, since I always have it on hand)
1 tsp Dijon or reg mustard
2/3 cup avocado oil (can use olive oil)
2/3 cup coconut oil, warm (meaning not hard it needs to be in its liquid form)
Salt and pepper, to taste
Blend the yokes in blender or food processor. Then blend in seasonings and lemon juice or apple cider vinegar. Slowly add oils, till creamy. This should take a few minutes to get creamy.
ENJOY!
Whichever coconut oil my mom used, it had a very distinct coconut taste so you could tell in the mayonnaise what it was made of. I really enjoyed the taste it was different and way more satisfying. It depends on what brand you buy though. Mine didn't give it the overly coconuty taste which may be a good thing when trying to get others to adapt to it.
It was so nice to be able to make this without the unhealthy oils or harmful chemicals. Coconut oil is amazing for skin as well, so whatever residue you get on your hands you can just rub in like lotion (unlike canola oil).
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
"We Don't Have a Nursery, We Have a Movie Room with a 60" TV"
During my "Coffee/Internet Break" I ran across an article that reminded me of why this topic that I am about to breach really pushes my buttons.
Warning! This post is laced with sarcasm. Those with low tolerance for criticism should exit now.
Exhibit A
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a34965/why-this-mother-is-still-breast-feeding-her-six-year-old-daughter/
Ok, do I really need to ask "What do you see wrong with this picture?" And before you jump all over this post, please note that I am not attacking the "natural art of breastfeeding" nor am I attacking parents or their methods. I am attacking our culture.
I am not going to beat around the bush. I am just not supportive of breastfeeding past 1 year. Anything past that is just looking for attention. We seem to have hit upon a phase of time where women find there martyrdom and self appreciation by having babies, having babies in the dark (no medical interference of any kind) breast feeding well into the toddler years, whipping out a boob in public to feed a child, debating with other moms about their methods and downing other moms about their lack of success. I am tolerant of none of these things I just listed.
Now, as I am sure you have gathered from the title of my blog, I have no children. However, I come from a family of seven. My husband is from a family of 14. So definitely used to kids and big families. I am currently the only one from my circle of friends that hasn't started having kids. Why? Because I fully believe that marriage is marriage and having kids is having kids. Two totally different things. I don't believe that part of marriage is having children, I don't believe that it is expected of us and don't believe that we are failing as Christians by not immediately providing the earth with more godly offspring.
What I do believe is that when we get married we make that commitment with another person standing in front of you not nonexistent children. I believe that it is not expected of us to have to have kids because there are so many women unable to have kids and couples in general unable to have kids (which by the way, if a couple is incapable of having kids, I don't believe artificial insemination is ok, it's not. God has created a reason for you to not be able to have children. Perhaps he wants you to adopt children that need you or perhaps children aren't in your future). Also what about the men and women that somehow don't meet someone to spend the rest of their lives with? Is it there fault?
I do want kids and hope to have some one day (just wanted to add that clarification). This is the reason that I am expressing an opinion on this topic. Because I don't care if this phase is majority or minority, I don't want to be a part of it.
The whole "new generation mommy mold" is gut wrenching to me.
Including but certainly not limited to:
Minivans, need I say more? I have never seen a more worthless handheld vacuum shaped waste of space. I have literally seen newbie moms that just had their first kid and they went and traded in their 5 seater Jeep Liberty for a minivan. Ok, so you got two extra seats and sliding doors? Anything else? Like does it have a cone of silence for the back seat or space replicator that magically provides food for the minions in the back or do those sliding doors turn into wings that make it fly getting you to that soccer practice quicker? Nope. Didn't think so. You got what you payed for. Save yourself the trouble and expense. Even if you have a basic sedan car, if you just had one kid then the same vehicle you had before the baby will work just fine with one.
Soccer practice, music practice, and ballet classes - No your kids won't play/perform in their adult years, no they won't ever play that good and what did it get you? Hundreds of stressed out and frazzled days based on meeting the socialization tactics of our society. Hey here is a thought, go home make a nice dinner, sit on the couch and watch movie with the family or play a game of monopoly (educational, they learn to count, read, add, subtract and become ruthless survivors).
PO Mommies - Pissed off because some HONEST kid at school told their kid "there is no santa claus", If my kid was the one that told, I would give him friggin thumbs and tell them "You just saved some poor child from a lifetime of the sniveling blues". I dare you to call and try to make my kid apologize. That likes telling the parents to apologize for telling their kids the truth and teaching them to be honest.
Mommy dates, Mommy circles, Mommy night out, Breastfeeders Anonymous (ok I made that one up, but seriously think it probably exists). What? You need a group of these half nudist naturalists to make you feel better about yourself? Want to really feel better? Ask someone to babysit while you and your husband go out and have a civilized time, most definitely involving a drink or two. Never forget that you married your husband FIRST then you had kids. The priorities should always fall in that same order. Don't have kids to keep your marriage together or as a reason to have something to hold on to. Have them because you are in love and want to share that love with a child.
Public breastfeeders - Yes, when I get to go out to eat I most definitely want to hear "suckeling" sounds from the booth next to me. When my husband and I go shopping and he has to awkwardly look away because some dense frizzed out naturalist has half her shirt off while feeding the baby. I'm sorry, I didn't realize that because you have given the gift of life that you are allowed to be nude. So, since I haven't given the gift of life, would you be offended if I decided to walk into a restaurant wearing a bra as my top? Or would you judge me and say that it is immodest and inappropriate. I don't judge moms that publicly feed their babies because it is disgusting or nasty. I am judging because it is inappropriate. It is not fair to women that have growing young boys. They should not have to be subjected to this open nudity and then the parents have to explain it to them when they no doubt will ask questions.. There are very perverted and nasty people in our culture and you want to get offended if one of them stairs or gawks? I'm sorry, you opened yourself up for that. You put yourself in the position to be a sideshow. There are restrooms and there is the privacy of your own vehicle and there are bottles. I don't care if it takes hours to breastpump. Turn a movie on and hook that sucker up (no pun intend). Have a supply in the refrigerator. Or you know what yeah a little bit of formula once every now and then won't hurt your child. It won't be his main source of nutrition and NO it won't screw up his eating pattern.
Breastfeeding past 1 year - At this point you are doing it for yourself. Here are things that I have witnessed first hand. The children that are breastfed past the 1 year mark are whiney, dependent, have attachment issues and shows signs of wanting to be "fed" when they want comfort. And I state this in quotations because 90% of the time they aren't even eating they just want something to suck on for comfort. This should not be encouraged. They need to be independent, they need to know how to comfort themselves. Also by doing this you're creating a scenario where your children see it as they will be able to get what they want when they want. It is just like running to them as soon as they whimper or utter a tiny cry. You are babying them and letting them be in control. Another thing I have noticed is that moms who have attachment issues breastfeed for longer. They say it helps with the bonding, but it's really the mom who requires that bonding and she has a hard time letting go. The self appointed martyrdom that I mentioned early in this post comes into play at this point. It gives women/moms a feeling of purpose and they like having someone to depend on them.
A Hot Mess - Parents who go into town looking like a hot mess and dragging their half dozen kids behind them, each with barely a year in between their ages. Again, I am not judging. I just don't want to hear the complaining. "I never get me time anymore", "These kids are driving me nuts", "I feel like have lost brain cells", "I can't keep up anymore", etc. Number 1, nobody ever told you that you have to start having kids the month you got married and have to keep having them on a yearly basis. Please don't tell me it's because you have religious views on using protection or in this case prevention. I don'ts support abortion, I feel like it is you that made the mistake and not the unborn child. So you have to pay the piper so to speak. However, you do have means to prevent against it, something that I don't consider wrong. Also, the kids learn to walk all over you, they feed of your frazzled and scatterbrained behavior. So, "the hot mess look" is self inflicted.
Stick a pacificer in her she's done! - Ok but seriously "let me PACIfy you moms", oh they''ll be fine, stick a paci in their mouth. Nothing is more annoying. IT MAKES THEM DEPENDENT AND WHINEY. Also, starts thumb sucking, finger sucking, hand sucking, blanket sucking (unbelievable what all it leads to). I don't care if the kid came out of womb with the thumb in their mouth, you are enabling and encouraging it by given them a pacifier. Harmless? I think not. And I quote
"Despite what you might have heard, there's not much evidence that pacifiers cause nipple confusion (when breastfed babies forget the muscular mechanics of nursing from a real nipple). But there is plenty of evidence that pacifier use can throw a monkey wrench in long-term nursing patterns and even cut the duration of breastfeeding short. How? One theory is that a baby can spend so much time enjoying those unproductive (yet satisfying) sucks that she loses interest in the ones that maybe take a bit more effort but actually fill her tummy. And because your milk supply is dependent upon her sucking, those misplaced efforts might mean you won't be producing the milk she needs to satisfy her hunger."
"Being dependent upon the pacifier can mean less sleep for everyone, because babies who learn to go to sleep with a pacifier might not learn how to fall asleep on their own — and they might put up a sniffly fuss when the binky gets lost in the middle of the night (requiring weary Mom or Dad to get up and get it for them…each time the baby wakes up)."
OCD Obsessive Compulsive Disorder aka OCD Overly Compensating Dingbat - The moms that actually decorate their house and tree for Christmas with all plastic, to child proof it (basically they are too lazy to stay on top of their kids and make sure they are behaving),
In conclusion. Myself and my siblings
Never rode in a minivan, we rode in a toyota corolla
Never had any soccer, ballet or music lessons
We were the kids that told your kids, "There is no Santa Claus"
My mom never went and hung with mommy circles
My mom never fed in public, if she did it was with a bottle
My mom never went to town even for one errand without fixing her hair and makeup
My parents never owned a single pacifier, NOT one of us ever sucked our thumb, were whiny or had dependency issues
We NEVER touched anything in anyone else's home. We never once broke anything that didn't belong to us.
My parents love Christmas and have very delicate, expensive, collectible and glass decorations. Not once did any of them ever get broken by us. Yes, my mom put them out every year. whether we were 1 or 21, it didn't matter.
As for the title of my post, my husband and I enjoy married life. It is a beautiful thing and you don't have to jump into have kids right away to find it's purpose.
Happy Hump Day!
Warning! This post is laced with sarcasm. Those with low tolerance for criticism should exit now.
Exhibit A
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a34965/why-this-mother-is-still-breast-feeding-her-six-year-old-daughter/
Ok, do I really need to ask "What do you see wrong with this picture?" And before you jump all over this post, please note that I am not attacking the "natural art of breastfeeding" nor am I attacking parents or their methods. I am attacking our culture.
I am not going to beat around the bush. I am just not supportive of breastfeeding past 1 year. Anything past that is just looking for attention. We seem to have hit upon a phase of time where women find there martyrdom and self appreciation by having babies, having babies in the dark (no medical interference of any kind) breast feeding well into the toddler years, whipping out a boob in public to feed a child, debating with other moms about their methods and downing other moms about their lack of success. I am tolerant of none of these things I just listed.
Now, as I am sure you have gathered from the title of my blog, I have no children. However, I come from a family of seven. My husband is from a family of 14. So definitely used to kids and big families. I am currently the only one from my circle of friends that hasn't started having kids. Why? Because I fully believe that marriage is marriage and having kids is having kids. Two totally different things. I don't believe that part of marriage is having children, I don't believe that it is expected of us and don't believe that we are failing as Christians by not immediately providing the earth with more godly offspring.
What I do believe is that when we get married we make that commitment with another person standing in front of you not nonexistent children. I believe that it is not expected of us to have to have kids because there are so many women unable to have kids and couples in general unable to have kids (which by the way, if a couple is incapable of having kids, I don't believe artificial insemination is ok, it's not. God has created a reason for you to not be able to have children. Perhaps he wants you to adopt children that need you or perhaps children aren't in your future). Also what about the men and women that somehow don't meet someone to spend the rest of their lives with? Is it there fault?
I do want kids and hope to have some one day (just wanted to add that clarification). This is the reason that I am expressing an opinion on this topic. Because I don't care if this phase is majority or minority, I don't want to be a part of it.
The whole "new generation mommy mold" is gut wrenching to me.
Including but certainly not limited to:
Minivans, need I say more? I have never seen a more worthless handheld vacuum shaped waste of space. I have literally seen newbie moms that just had their first kid and they went and traded in their 5 seater Jeep Liberty for a minivan. Ok, so you got two extra seats and sliding doors? Anything else? Like does it have a cone of silence for the back seat or space replicator that magically provides food for the minions in the back or do those sliding doors turn into wings that make it fly getting you to that soccer practice quicker? Nope. Didn't think so. You got what you payed for. Save yourself the trouble and expense. Even if you have a basic sedan car, if you just had one kid then the same vehicle you had before the baby will work just fine with one.
Soccer practice, music practice, and ballet classes - No your kids won't play/perform in their adult years, no they won't ever play that good and what did it get you? Hundreds of stressed out and frazzled days based on meeting the socialization tactics of our society. Hey here is a thought, go home make a nice dinner, sit on the couch and watch movie with the family or play a game of monopoly (educational, they learn to count, read, add, subtract and become ruthless survivors).
PO Mommies - Pissed off because some HONEST kid at school told their kid "there is no santa claus", If my kid was the one that told, I would give him friggin thumbs and tell them "You just saved some poor child from a lifetime of the sniveling blues". I dare you to call and try to make my kid apologize. That likes telling the parents to apologize for telling their kids the truth and teaching them to be honest.
Mommy dates, Mommy circles, Mommy night out, Breastfeeders Anonymous (ok I made that one up, but seriously think it probably exists). What? You need a group of these half nudist naturalists to make you feel better about yourself? Want to really feel better? Ask someone to babysit while you and your husband go out and have a civilized time, most definitely involving a drink or two. Never forget that you married your husband FIRST then you had kids. The priorities should always fall in that same order. Don't have kids to keep your marriage together or as a reason to have something to hold on to. Have them because you are in love and want to share that love with a child.
Public breastfeeders - Yes, when I get to go out to eat I most definitely want to hear "suckeling" sounds from the booth next to me. When my husband and I go shopping and he has to awkwardly look away because some dense frizzed out naturalist has half her shirt off while feeding the baby. I'm sorry, I didn't realize that because you have given the gift of life that you are allowed to be nude. So, since I haven't given the gift of life, would you be offended if I decided to walk into a restaurant wearing a bra as my top? Or would you judge me and say that it is immodest and inappropriate. I don't judge moms that publicly feed their babies because it is disgusting or nasty. I am judging because it is inappropriate. It is not fair to women that have growing young boys. They should not have to be subjected to this open nudity and then the parents have to explain it to them when they no doubt will ask questions.. There are very perverted and nasty people in our culture and you want to get offended if one of them stairs or gawks? I'm sorry, you opened yourself up for that. You put yourself in the position to be a sideshow. There are restrooms and there is the privacy of your own vehicle and there are bottles. I don't care if it takes hours to breastpump. Turn a movie on and hook that sucker up (no pun intend). Have a supply in the refrigerator. Or you know what yeah a little bit of formula once every now and then won't hurt your child. It won't be his main source of nutrition and NO it won't screw up his eating pattern.
Breastfeeding past 1 year - At this point you are doing it for yourself. Here are things that I have witnessed first hand. The children that are breastfed past the 1 year mark are whiney, dependent, have attachment issues and shows signs of wanting to be "fed" when they want comfort. And I state this in quotations because 90% of the time they aren't even eating they just want something to suck on for comfort. This should not be encouraged. They need to be independent, they need to know how to comfort themselves. Also by doing this you're creating a scenario where your children see it as they will be able to get what they want when they want. It is just like running to them as soon as they whimper or utter a tiny cry. You are babying them and letting them be in control. Another thing I have noticed is that moms who have attachment issues breastfeed for longer. They say it helps with the bonding, but it's really the mom who requires that bonding and she has a hard time letting go. The self appointed martyrdom that I mentioned early in this post comes into play at this point. It gives women/moms a feeling of purpose and they like having someone to depend on them.
A Hot Mess - Parents who go into town looking like a hot mess and dragging their half dozen kids behind them, each with barely a year in between their ages. Again, I am not judging. I just don't want to hear the complaining. "I never get me time anymore", "These kids are driving me nuts", "I feel like have lost brain cells", "I can't keep up anymore", etc. Number 1, nobody ever told you that you have to start having kids the month you got married and have to keep having them on a yearly basis. Please don't tell me it's because you have religious views on using protection or in this case prevention. I don'ts support abortion, I feel like it is you that made the mistake and not the unborn child. So you have to pay the piper so to speak. However, you do have means to prevent against it, something that I don't consider wrong. Also, the kids learn to walk all over you, they feed of your frazzled and scatterbrained behavior. So, "the hot mess look" is self inflicted.
Stick a pacificer in her she's done! - Ok but seriously "let me PACIfy you moms", oh they''ll be fine, stick a paci in their mouth. Nothing is more annoying. IT MAKES THEM DEPENDENT AND WHINEY. Also, starts thumb sucking, finger sucking, hand sucking, blanket sucking (unbelievable what all it leads to). I don't care if the kid came out of womb with the thumb in their mouth, you are enabling and encouraging it by given them a pacifier. Harmless? I think not. And I quote
"Despite what you might have heard, there's not much evidence that pacifiers cause nipple confusion (when breastfed babies forget the muscular mechanics of nursing from a real nipple). But there is plenty of evidence that pacifier use can throw a monkey wrench in long-term nursing patterns and even cut the duration of breastfeeding short. How? One theory is that a baby can spend so much time enjoying those unproductive (yet satisfying) sucks that she loses interest in the ones that maybe take a bit more effort but actually fill her tummy. And because your milk supply is dependent upon her sucking, those misplaced efforts might mean you won't be producing the milk she needs to satisfy her hunger."
"Being dependent upon the pacifier can mean less sleep for everyone, because babies who learn to go to sleep with a pacifier might not learn how to fall asleep on their own — and they might put up a sniffly fuss when the binky gets lost in the middle of the night (requiring weary Mom or Dad to get up and get it for them…each time the baby wakes up)."
" If a baby gets attached to a binky, the habit can be a hard one to break — especially once your baby turns into a more inflexible toddler (when the continuing use of pacifiers is linked to recurrent ear infections and misaligned teeth). It can also become a bad habit for parents too; if you plunk in the pacifier at the first sign of a squall, the real reasons for baby's tears — a tummy ache, uncomfortable diaper, or just missing Mama — can be overlooked."
"No, No, No" works, SAID NO ONE EVER - The parents that pop their kids hand lightly and say "no no no" as they continue to break your things and pour milk on your couch and otherwise disrupt the adults trying to have a conversation. This doesn't work. Seen it done. Seen it fail. I'd like to buy a vowel please? NO, but what you can buy is new couch for me that doesn't smell like sour milk because your 3 year old doesn't know how to listen. And by the way just so there is no confusion, spilling the milk by "accident" and tipping it upside down and shaking it vigorously, are two verrrrry different things.
"You'll understand when you have kids" - The parents that actually defend their child when that child just broke something in your home by saying "well you really shouldn't keep delicates and breakables within the child's reach" or my favorite "you'll understand when you have kids" (like some unspoken judgment, muahhhhhh I'll get you my pretty when you have your own kids"!!!!!). Sorry, not gonna fly in my house. You break it, you buy it......no really I'm not kidding.
and finallyOCD Obsessive Compulsive Disorder aka OCD Overly Compensating Dingbat - The moms that actually decorate their house and tree for Christmas with all plastic, to child proof it (basically they are too lazy to stay on top of their kids and make sure they are behaving),
In conclusion. Myself and my siblings
Never rode in a minivan, we rode in a toyota corolla
Never had any soccer, ballet or music lessons
We were the kids that told your kids, "There is no Santa Claus"
My mom never went and hung with mommy circles
My mom never fed in public, if she did it was with a bottle
My mom never went to town even for one errand without fixing her hair and makeup
My parents never owned a single pacifier, NOT one of us ever sucked our thumb, were whiny or had dependency issues
We NEVER touched anything in anyone else's home. We never once broke anything that didn't belong to us.
My parents love Christmas and have very delicate, expensive, collectible and glass decorations. Not once did any of them ever get broken by us. Yes, my mom put them out every year. whether we were 1 or 21, it didn't matter.
As for the title of my post, my husband and I enjoy married life. It is a beautiful thing and you don't have to jump into have kids right away to find it's purpose.
Happy Hump Day!
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
After Christmas Finds
So I told myself I wasn't doing any "after Christmas" shopping this year.......I lied. Well no not really. I took a wrong turn yesterday and somehow ended up in the Hobby Lobby parking lot. Ok, the truth. I was a making a Good Will drop off donation and it is located right next door to Hobby Lobby. So, I thought "what the heck?" Can't hurt to take a look. They probably won't have anything I want or won't have anything at all.
As I entered, noticed 3 full aisles left of Christmas stuff, quite a bit actually. Especially considering it was almost two weeks after Christmas and that they are probably itching to get Valentine's Day decorations up.
I grabbed a buggy and headed onward when I realize that everything was marked 90% off, yes, you heard me correctly. I inadvertently overheard (in that same second) that they had just put the signs up.
Now, you would have to understand how thrilled I am. It's 11am on a Monday, after Christmas. Typically and literally this time every year for the past 10 years I would be at work. I am not currently working (thanks to my awesomely supportive husband). This making it possible for me to get to a sale that by the time I would get off work would have been sold out, how do I know this? Because around 5:30 I headed back to Hobby Lobby just to check the damage and they were sold out, minus a few measly items that nobody wanted from the beginning of the season. This sight only heightened my puffed up feeling of pride and excitement.
Now for the GRAND ANNOUNCEMENT! I walked out of Hobby Lobby with $689 worth of items for $80.00! Now that's a steal of a deal!
The main items I purchased were mini Christmas trees (about 2 ft tall) that are themed in different colors with a coordinating wooden base and have a tinsel type material wrapped around the wire branches. They are adorable and can be themed for modern, preppy, folky, primitive, vintage, any theme you want. They had black, hot pink, turquoise, teal, silver light pink/cream and purple. I bought a little of each. The purple and black will make perfect mini Halloween trees. The cream and pink for Valentines day and the blue for Easter. I am not sure yet if I will be making these to sell on my Etsy shop, https://www.etsy.com/shop/Hannahsfunkyjunk?ref=hdr_shop_menu or if I will pre-decorate them with coordinating ornaments and give them as Christmas gifts for next year. Decisions, decisions.
My second find of the day was on the platform where they display the fake trees, they had 3 left and they were also 90% off. Crazy deal if you want to purchase a fake Christmas tree for the next season. The one I picked out however is not for Christmas ( I am sucker for real trees during Christmas), it is black and has lights attached to it (and please don't ask me who would purchase a prelit black Christmas tree, but apparently some people do because the only one left for sale was the display). Ok, moving on. The tree is 4ft tall with a heavy black metal base. It is also more of a narrow corner tree, so it won't be taking up much space. My intent is to make it my Halloween tree. My mother makes awesome hand hooked wool ornaments, as well as felted ornaments, I am hoping to con her into making me some. In any case, I am excited about having a tree to decorate and theme for another one of my favorite holidays.
Time to close, so much to do today! I leave you with a question though (and please feel free to comment, I would love to hear your answer) Riddle me this, does a "green/naturalist" buy a fake Christmas tree or a real Christmas tree? The twist is that a fake tree is not natural in any form and probably took the lives of many trees to make it, but then of course if they chose a real tree that doesn't seem very green?
As I entered, noticed 3 full aisles left of Christmas stuff, quite a bit actually. Especially considering it was almost two weeks after Christmas and that they are probably itching to get Valentine's Day decorations up.
I grabbed a buggy and headed onward when I realize that everything was marked 90% off, yes, you heard me correctly. I inadvertently overheard (in that same second) that they had just put the signs up.
Now, you would have to understand how thrilled I am. It's 11am on a Monday, after Christmas. Typically and literally this time every year for the past 10 years I would be at work. I am not currently working (thanks to my awesomely supportive husband). This making it possible for me to get to a sale that by the time I would get off work would have been sold out, how do I know this? Because around 5:30 I headed back to Hobby Lobby just to check the damage and they were sold out, minus a few measly items that nobody wanted from the beginning of the season. This sight only heightened my puffed up feeling of pride and excitement.
Now for the GRAND ANNOUNCEMENT! I walked out of Hobby Lobby with $689 worth of items for $80.00! Now that's a steal of a deal!
The main items I purchased were mini Christmas trees (about 2 ft tall) that are themed in different colors with a coordinating wooden base and have a tinsel type material wrapped around the wire branches. They are adorable and can be themed for modern, preppy, folky, primitive, vintage, any theme you want. They had black, hot pink, turquoise, teal, silver light pink/cream and purple. I bought a little of each. The purple and black will make perfect mini Halloween trees. The cream and pink for Valentines day and the blue for Easter. I am not sure yet if I will be making these to sell on my Etsy shop, https://www.etsy.com/shop/Hannahsfunkyjunk?ref=hdr_shop_menu or if I will pre-decorate them with coordinating ornaments and give them as Christmas gifts for next year. Decisions, decisions.
My second find of the day was on the platform where they display the fake trees, they had 3 left and they were also 90% off. Crazy deal if you want to purchase a fake Christmas tree for the next season. The one I picked out however is not for Christmas ( I am sucker for real trees during Christmas), it is black and has lights attached to it (and please don't ask me who would purchase a prelit black Christmas tree, but apparently some people do because the only one left for sale was the display). Ok, moving on. The tree is 4ft tall with a heavy black metal base. It is also more of a narrow corner tree, so it won't be taking up much space. My intent is to make it my Halloween tree. My mother makes awesome hand hooked wool ornaments, as well as felted ornaments, I am hoping to con her into making me some. In any case, I am excited about having a tree to decorate and theme for another one of my favorite holidays.
Time to close, so much to do today! I leave you with a question though (and please feel free to comment, I would love to hear your answer) Riddle me this, does a "green/naturalist" buy a fake Christmas tree or a real Christmas tree? The twist is that a fake tree is not natural in any form and probably took the lives of many trees to make it, but then of course if they chose a real tree that doesn't seem very green?
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Cheers to a New Year!
Well it has been a long time since I have posted anything on my blog. I have revamped it and changed the theme.
Life has been good and carried quite a few remarkable changes for me and my husband.
In the last three years we have bought and remodeled our first home. We have also sold that home. I have put my cooking career on hold, I have some areas in it that I want to continue to pursue but on a different level.
I want to start experimenting with a healthier and more natural (and by natural, I don't mean some freakish wholesome voodoo vegan habit) style of eating and cooking. I have become very supportive of a more organic and natural foods. We see things daily that attack the way we have been eating and living for years. These are not all bad attacks. Some that I agree with are the avoidance of GMO foods, meats, eggs, and dairy that are not grass fed, raw, no additives and hormone free.
Now, I fully appreciate and agree that the cost is exuberant and seems to be a bit of a racket. However, next time you decide to take the cheaper route, take a look at the ingredients listed on the back of the packaging. The list will be almost as long as your arm, you won't be able to pronounce or recognize a 1/4 of it. Not convinced? Ok. How about the fact that a 2.99 (off brand aka the cheaper version) family size bag of chips is 3/4 full of air? Now the name brand and more expensive is not much cheaper and for not much more product. So, let's continue down to the more natural and organic aisle. The bags are average size, but mostly full and those that aren't are not meant to be eaten in large quantities. Ever notice how you get a large bag of potato chips and you could eat the whole bag and not feel the least bit satisfied. Yeah, I know. Try the overpriced, organic versions and in all honestly you will actually be saving some money. Why? Because, once you have eaten the serving size you will realize that your insatiable craving has somehow been satisfied. That is because it is real. It doesn't contain additives that cause you to want more and inevitably end buying more to satisfy the afore mentioned craving. Giving the stores and the corporate world what they want. More profit. Might I add that this profit is at the expense of your paycheck and most importantly your health.
I have been toying with this new way of eating for about 1 1/2 years. This past holiday season I made a series of low carb, paleo, more natural, etc. (take your pick) of goodies. I made the decision to enjoy these for most of the month of December, but on Christmas Eve and Day to enjoy the real and more traditional foods that my family makes.
After two days of enjoying the foods, became burnt out on them. Not to mention my energy level was next to nill, I was sleepy, had headaches and had an urge to eat my other more healthy options. SUCCESS! I have been able to convince not only my mind but also my body and tastes buds about the better choices.
So, in starting the new year my husband and I have both committed to eating healthier 100% NO weakness!
We made a shopping trip to Costco and purchased a month's worth of food. This includes, rain forest coffee, coconut chips, chia seeds, almond butter, wild caught fresh salmon, 12 grain organic bread loaded with omega-3, cage free (no hormone) eggs, organic chicken and beef, etc. The point being we committed. I am fully convinced of the health benefits of these choices.
I am saying none of this to convince others to change their habits, only to share my experience and belief in them.
On that note, HAPPY HEALTHY
NEW YEAR!
Life has been good and carried quite a few remarkable changes for me and my husband.
In the last three years we have bought and remodeled our first home. We have also sold that home. I have put my cooking career on hold, I have some areas in it that I want to continue to pursue but on a different level.
I want to start experimenting with a healthier and more natural (and by natural, I don't mean some freakish wholesome voodoo vegan habit) style of eating and cooking. I have become very supportive of a more organic and natural foods. We see things daily that attack the way we have been eating and living for years. These are not all bad attacks. Some that I agree with are the avoidance of GMO foods, meats, eggs, and dairy that are not grass fed, raw, no additives and hormone free.
Now, I fully appreciate and agree that the cost is exuberant and seems to be a bit of a racket. However, next time you decide to take the cheaper route, take a look at the ingredients listed on the back of the packaging. The list will be almost as long as your arm, you won't be able to pronounce or recognize a 1/4 of it. Not convinced? Ok. How about the fact that a 2.99 (off brand aka the cheaper version) family size bag of chips is 3/4 full of air? Now the name brand and more expensive is not much cheaper and for not much more product. So, let's continue down to the more natural and organic aisle. The bags are average size, but mostly full and those that aren't are not meant to be eaten in large quantities. Ever notice how you get a large bag of potato chips and you could eat the whole bag and not feel the least bit satisfied. Yeah, I know. Try the overpriced, organic versions and in all honestly you will actually be saving some money. Why? Because, once you have eaten the serving size you will realize that your insatiable craving has somehow been satisfied. That is because it is real. It doesn't contain additives that cause you to want more and inevitably end buying more to satisfy the afore mentioned craving. Giving the stores and the corporate world what they want. More profit. Might I add that this profit is at the expense of your paycheck and most importantly your health.
I have been toying with this new way of eating for about 1 1/2 years. This past holiday season I made a series of low carb, paleo, more natural, etc. (take your pick) of goodies. I made the decision to enjoy these for most of the month of December, but on Christmas Eve and Day to enjoy the real and more traditional foods that my family makes.
After two days of enjoying the foods, became burnt out on them. Not to mention my energy level was next to nill, I was sleepy, had headaches and had an urge to eat my other more healthy options. SUCCESS! I have been able to convince not only my mind but also my body and tastes buds about the better choices.
So, in starting the new year my husband and I have both committed to eating healthier 100% NO weakness!
We made a shopping trip to Costco and purchased a month's worth of food. This includes, rain forest coffee, coconut chips, chia seeds, almond butter, wild caught fresh salmon, 12 grain organic bread loaded with omega-3, cage free (no hormone) eggs, organic chicken and beef, etc. The point being we committed. I am fully convinced of the health benefits of these choices.
I am saying none of this to convince others to change their habits, only to share my experience and belief in them.
NEW YEAR!
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