Friday, September 18, 2015

Upside to a Downside

How do you enjoy the "most wonderful time of the year" FALL when you have something called PCOS. Especially when your worst side affect is ...... WEIGHT GAIN.
Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Pumpkin Bread, Pumpkin Cheesecake, Pumpkin Pie, Thanksgiving Dinner, Hot Chocolate, Sweet Breads, Warm Cozy Soups, Chili, Chili Cheese Dogs, AGHHHHH I am already getting hungry and it's still 90 degrees outside!
I have compiled quite a list of low carb/paleo Fall treats that will hopefully is one.
Paleo Pumpkin Spice Latte (vegan too!), made with natural sweeteners. My favorite version so far!:

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Sorry, You're Not In the Club...... Members Only

I'm sorry, what club? The one where you don't shower for days, and wear stained clothes that are too big or small for you, you eat when remember to eat, you actually get excited about making a diaper run because it gets you out of the house, you fluids from multiple areas of your body and the most excitement you have is anticipating the next nap time? No thank you.
A little recent perception has shown me that not ALL life changing events put you in a different more elite club.
For example, when you graduate high school. You all graduated and you are all starting your independent life. When you get start dating, it doesn't mean you don't hang out with your single friends. When you get married, you still don't stop hanging out with your single friends and you don't stop hanging out with your friends in general. But..........................
Have a baby and suddenly you are kicked out of the previous club you didn't even realize you were in and admitted into a totally new one. The one where frumpy, bored, miserable women convince you that it's the greatest experience ever. The one where women overreact to absolutely everything in the most ridiculous situations ever. The one where any woman that hasn't had a baby isn't as much as a hard worker or as sacrificial as the woman staying home with the baby.
Well here's a newsflash. Giving birth is not new news. Having babies has been going on for YEARS. Get over yourself. If you are "frumpy" (and I don't use that word lightly, more on that later) then it is self inflicted. Most moms now use that at their new secret identity. Except it's not really all that secret.
Frumpy: Dowdy, Drab, Dull, Unfashionable. Ok so the fashionable part is irrelevant. But the dowdy, drab and dull. Really? Pair with the "Ragamuffin" and your set for endless low self esteem and dread to each waking morning.
Just because you had a baby doesn't mean you don't have to care about yourself. Perhaps if you went that extra mile for yourself you wouldn't feel or act the way you do? I am not asking you. I am asking you to ask yourself.
I watch woman go through this transformation almost every time and every time I question whether I will do this or not. The answer is..........
NO! Absolutely not. I maintain that if you feel good in your body and feel good about yourself then you will feel good about being a mother and won't feel the need to guilt other unexpecting woman to be well......expecting.
I hate the prying questions at the get togethers,

Person 1: "So how many kids do you have" (overly sweet and syrupy voice)
Me: None (casual)
Person 1: "Oh, well when will yall be starting a family?" (still sweet, but traces of overbearing curiosity and interest)
Me: Oh, whenever we take an interest in it. (still casual)
Person 1: "Oh, well how old are you?" (eyes have started to squint and blatant interrogation style questioning has begun)
Me: 27 (casual and unphased.....oh wait not unphased a slight bit of pride has creeped into my voice, because yes, I have managed to be married for 4 years and not had kids yet)
Person 1: "Wow, well you better get started soon." (Mixed tones of jealousy, anger, astonishment, and overall shock leading to "I must say something bitterly encouraging")
Me: Nah, I'm not worried about it. *and I walk away*

This is a typical example of what people in the club say to people not in the club.
Why? Why is this necessary? Why do you have to judge others, why do you have to criticize others for choosing differently and for following a different path?

I am not the woman that is going to be annoyed that your brought a baby to Twin Peaks with you. But I am going to be the woman that is annoyed that you are criticizing the modesty of the waitresses while you are breast feeding a baby at the table.
Just because you had a baby and you are performing the miracle of feeding doesn't make it any more or less modest thanthe woman wearing the "skanky waitress outfit".  Having a baby doesn't make you special and it doesn't make you part of an elite club.
I am the woman that gets annoyed when a couple brings an infant to a movie theater. In fact I think it shouldn't be allowed. You wanted to have a baby. Well groovy. Good for you. But, I didn't ask or pay to be in club. I paid to see a movie and would prefer to hear it as well.  Pay someone to babysit your child so that you can enjoy a movie with your husband. It's as if couples do this on purpose, it is there way of saying "welcome to our world". Well, I prefer to have to pay my dues until I owe my dues.
Happy almost Friday!

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Children, to have them young or to have them when you are well aged....that is the question

Has anyone else noticed the huge percentage of girls under the age of 20 having kids (and not just on accident) but purposefully wanting kids at that age? Well I have noticed.
If that's one's choice then I guess it is what it is. However, can these girls even explain why they want kids at such a young age (other than "babies are cute", " I love the smell of babies", "I just want to be a mother"... etc). I am not dissing on these perfectly lovely reasons that were plucked straight from puffy white clouds floating above of us, but shouldn't they be thinking about what all comes with this responsibility? These aren't stuffed animals or pets for that matter. They are little mini humans that will grow up affected by what choices the parents makes. They may not take into account and notice things at 6 months, 1 year, 2 years. But by the time they're 3? They will be remembering everything. Copying everything. Watching and learning by what you do. Scary right? You will be their greatest example in everything.
I know some girls that just want to get married, have a home and have kids. That's all they want to do. Nothing wrong with that. But, let's just say you just finished school, you're 18 and you are in love, you get married......whala! One month later you're expecting. You may very well be ready for that because that's what you've wanted your whole life. But what happens if you reach 30 years old and realize that you have five kids and you are still doing exactly what you were doing when you turned 18. If that wasn't enough odds are you still have another almost 10 years until your finished raising the oldest of your five. So you will probably be well into your 50s by the time you have finished raising your last child. And what have you done? I know you can enjoy a lot while taking "family vacations" and "retirement" but keep in mind when you vacation and have experiences with kids, you have less funds, less freedom, less physical energy and less overall ability to do things other than what is fitting for children. When you are retired you have plenty of funds, plenty of freedom, less physical energy (possibly health) and just overall physical ability to do things that you could have done in your 20s, even 30s.
What about the girls that aren't even done with school, aren't in a serious relationship (let alone married) and they get pregnant? The interesting part is that they are actually excited about this. They aren't embarrassed and they aren't concerned. Wait for it.....they are overjoyed! They are excited! They are can't wait for their little bundle of joy. Gee, great. Another child that childless people have to help raise (tax money). Especially considering this particular group will probably and most likely be on some form of welfare, WIC, etc.
The other group are girls that have finished school and are just plain screw-ups. They haven't set out to do anything they originally wanted to accomplish. They have a dead beat boyfriend and they barely make it by as it is. Yet, they are happily bringing a baby into this dysfunctional conjunction of a life that they live. Oh and by the way this group will also be accepting some form of welfare assistance, I have no doubt.
I see more and more of these three examples everyday. I am 27 and I don't have kids...yet. I definitely want a child. My husband and I talk about more often now than we used too. We have been married for 4 1/2 years and we have been enjoying that experience. I truly think that people that wait at least 1 year before starting a family with kids have an extremely smooth adventure ahead of them. When you jump right into having kids you aren't giving yourself enough time to get used to living together. Kids don't need to be subjected to this kind of imbalance.
I want to be able to tell my kids about my experiences (which may not necessarily be something as exotic as swimming with whales, or kayaking in Alaska) but parasailing, visiting Caribbean islands, etc. are experiences they wonderful things to enjoy. I want to be able to pull out my photo albums and show them cool stuff and have suggestions for things that they should try.
You are going to want your kids to have wonderful experiences. You are going to want them to live life to the fullest. Encourage this!
But hey, sometimes they really are people that just want to go through life pregnant and are addicted to the smell of a newborn baby. Kudos to you. That takes a truly special woman. For those of you who do decide to wait, DON'T (I cannot stress this enough) feel guilty. Life is short, live it!