Has anyone else noticed the huge percentage of girls under the age of 20 having kids (and not just on accident) but purposefully wanting kids at that age? Well I have noticed.
If that's one's choice then I guess it is what it is. However, can these girls even explain why they want kids at such a young age (other than "babies are cute", " I love the smell of babies", "I just want to be a mother"... etc). I am not dissing on these perfectly lovely reasons that were plucked straight from puffy white clouds floating above of us, but shouldn't they be thinking about what all comes with this responsibility? These aren't stuffed animals or pets for that matter. They are little mini humans that will grow up affected by what choices the parents makes. They may not take into account and notice things at 6 months, 1 year, 2 years. But by the time they're 3? They will be remembering everything. Copying everything. Watching and learning by what you do. Scary right? You will be their greatest example in everything.
I know some girls that just want to get married, have a home and have kids. That's all they want to do. Nothing wrong with that. But, let's just say you just finished school, you're 18 and you are in love, you get married......whala! One month later you're expecting. You may very well be ready for that because that's what you've wanted your whole life. But what happens if you reach 30 years old and realize that you have five kids and you are still doing exactly what you were doing when you turned 18. If that wasn't enough odds are you still have another almost 10 years until your finished raising the oldest of your five. So you will probably be well into your 50s by the time you have finished raising your last child. And what have you done? I know you can enjoy a lot while taking "family vacations" and "retirement" but keep in mind when you vacation and have experiences with kids, you have less funds, less freedom, less physical energy and less overall ability to do things other than what is fitting for children. When you are retired you have plenty of funds, plenty of freedom, less physical energy (possibly health) and just overall physical ability to do things that you could have done in your 20s, even 30s.
What about the girls that aren't even done with school, aren't in a serious relationship (let alone married) and they get pregnant? The interesting part is that they are actually excited about this. They aren't embarrassed and they aren't concerned. Wait for it.....they are overjoyed! They are excited! They are can't wait for their little bundle of joy. Gee, great. Another child that childless people have to help raise (tax money). Especially considering this particular group will probably and most likely be on some form of welfare, WIC, etc.
The other group are girls that have finished school and are just plain screw-ups. They haven't set out to do anything they originally wanted to accomplish. They have a dead beat boyfriend and they barely make it by as it is. Yet, they are happily bringing a baby into this dysfunctional conjunction of a life that they live. Oh and by the way this group will also be accepting some form of welfare assistance, I have no doubt.
I see more and more of these three examples everyday. I am 27 and I don't have kids...yet. I definitely want a child. My husband and I talk about more often now than we used too. We have been married for 4 1/2 years and we have been enjoying that experience. I truly think that people that wait at least 1 year before starting a family with kids have an extremely smooth adventure ahead of them. When you jump right into having kids you aren't giving yourself enough time to get used to living together. Kids don't need to be subjected to this kind of imbalance.
I want to be able to tell my kids about my experiences (which may not necessarily be something as exotic as swimming with whales, or kayaking in Alaska) but parasailing, visiting Caribbean islands, etc. are experiences they wonderful things to enjoy. I want to be able to pull out my photo albums and show them cool stuff and have suggestions for things that they should try.
You are going to want your kids to have wonderful experiences. You are going to want them to live life to the fullest. Encourage this!
But hey, sometimes they really are people that just want to go through life pregnant and are addicted to the smell of a newborn baby. Kudos to you. That takes a truly special woman. For those of you who do decide to wait, DON'T (I cannot stress this enough) feel guilty. Life is short, live it!