Thursday, January 14, 2016

Can't Afford Kids? Quit Having Kids

Really it's a simple decision. As soon as you release that you can't raise your child independently (financially, physically or mentally), then maybe it's time to stop having babies.
When you won't take your child to the Dr because you can't afford it, you need to stop having babies.
When you look like a hobo that just crawled out of a dumpster because you can't afford new clothes, you need to stop having babies.
When you can't remember the last time you bathed your kids, you need to stop having babies.
God loves children. He hates divorce because he wants godly offspring. However, I truly believe that God does not intend for you to make your children a burden on others. Kids are not little "cuddle buddies." If that's what your looking for them go buy a stuffed animal.
I don't want my kids to be spoiled and pampered children. But I would love to be able to afford to take them to the Dr when they're sick, to look like a human being when I go grocery shopping and maybe even to smell nice. I don't think that's asking too much.
Recently, I sat with a table of 10 other people, two of which were pregnant and  six of which were children all under the age of 4. We hadn't even ordered food yet and 2 of the kids had already thrown up (enough to fill a to go box), 2 more were playing drums on the table with knives, another is having a meltdown about the throw up epsiode, the spouses are becoming irritable with each other and I'm sitting here holding together my sanity by a mere thread.
I realized at that moment that if I had been one of the people at a different table that I would have been appalled and probably would have left the restaurant.
What's wrong with having 1 child? I have heard anything from  "it's selfish" to " you're not a real woman if you didn't have more than 1 child".  Shocked? I was when I heard those things said. I like the idea of pacing myself, not being overwhelmed.
The truth is that it only becomes overwhelming if we allow it to be.
If I have the control I would choose not to overwhelm myself with too many kids at once for the sake of my sanity, the kids sanity, my husband's sanity, my marriage, my spouse, the desire for romance and the well being of my children. Wow! I just gave 7 perfectly reasons why it's OK to pace yourself.
Also, if your kids are sick please don't bring them to a restaurant or anywhere for that matter unless it's the doctor. It's not fair to the child and it is certainly not fair to the innocent people that are involuntarily being subjected to illness.

You Kids Aren't Your " buddies"

I have recently come to realize how many mom's are treating their kids like they're best buds or friends or companions, rather than a parent and their child.
There's nothing wrong with wanting a good relationship with your child but when you've been on more date with ypur child than your spouse, something needs to change.
When you let your child get away with things just because you did it as a child and therefore you think it's cute? Come on really?
While your trying to pursue a friendship with your child, don't forget to do a little parenting as well.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Baby Fever? Sorry Haven't Caught That Yet

Hey I don't have anything against kids. They are cute, they can be fun (when they actually properly raised) and I certainly appreciate that I was once a kid. However, never confuse the facts. You chose to have kids now, I did not.
I know what your thinking, "Oh boy, here comes another rant". But seriously. I have never been able to understand these women that choose to have kids so early, or choose to have a billion of them (ok not really but 4, 5, 6, and even those that choose to have a dozen) and then they complain about it and then..........wait for it..........they try to tell you how wonderful it is.......and then.......wait for it..........they try to guilt you for not having kids. I HATE that. Not because it gets to me a way that makes me feel guilty for not having kids. More like in a way that makes me pity them. Because they aren't happy with their choices.
I believe you shouldn't have kids till you are married (besides the fact that I believe this as a Christian, I also believe it is wrong to bring a child into a broken family intentionally). I also believe that if you know your limitations there is nothing wrong with acting on them. Like, "I want to wait, because I want to enjoy the first years of marriage" or "I really think I just want one or two, I know that's about all I can handle" or "I thought I wanted more, but after the first one I decided having more just wasn't for me". THANK YOU! You were honest, you were upfront, you didn't lie to trap other unsuspecting women.
I have so many girls that I grew up with, went to church with, etc. that mostly got married before me and I remember thinking how strange when within a few weeks of the honeymoon they would announce their first pregnancy or the fact that they would have their first baby before their first wedding anniversary. What happened to enjoying being married. Having adventures with your husband. Being spontaneous with your life before settling down.
I don't confuse marriage with settling down. I married my husband within 6 months of knowing him, because I knew he was the one and there was no sense in waiting any longer. But we both knew we didn't want kids immediately. In fact our 2 year plan has become a five year plan and I am sure will possibly extend past that. I am not afraid of having kids. I am not afraid of the changes it will bring to my life and my husbands. I am aware of what we want out of life and our marriage. I don't believe we are selfish for pursuing our goals or adventures before we start having kids, please note that I don't say "start a family". When we took our vows we started our family. Done.
I see girls that are straight our of high school, living with a deadbeat boyfriend and neither have much of a job to speak of and lo and behold suddenly they are announcing that they are expecting! What? Why? Why? Why would you do this? Have you no shame? Bringing a child into a world like that and people actually show joy and excitement for this! What about all of the hardships that child will know because of what they will be subjected to? Did you think about that when you were thinking about cute and cuddly the baby was gonna be? Good grief!
Ok, I realize I chased some bunnies there for a while. Back to the main topic.
If YOU choose to have babies. If YOU choose to start having kids

http://www.yourtango.com/2015250349/dear-moms-stop-complaining-you-chose-to-have-kids-remember

What Came First? Marriage or Kids?

Yes that is what I asked. Same concept as "the chicken or the egg". Traditionally yes, the marriage comes before the kids. So let's use that scenario, shall we?
When you stand up there in front of witnesses and take the vows of commitment to the person standing across from you there were no kids in the picture. You didn't say "to you and to the children we will someday have".
Let's also say for sake of argument that you don't even know if you can have kids, I am going to assume however that you are both in agreement on whether you want kids or not.
Now, why is it that once the kids come they are constantly being put first? Not in a "basic nurturing" way but in such a way that keeps you completely busy and stressed to the point that you don't have time for your spouse? BTW this includes people that have to have a schedule "date night".  If you have to reserve "Wednesday Night" for your spouse than you aren't giving him/her enough of your attention.
If you don't maintain that original commitment than how is this affecting your kids? They can't survive without a stable marriage as the source of stability in their lives. So by puttig your spouse first you are actually ultimately thinking of the kids' well being. Interesting.
Here is a good article with some good perspective on the topic:
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/lori-lowe/your-marriage-more-important-your-kids
Keep this in mind, the kids don't miss what they don't know. If you choose to attend "mommy groups", "soccer practice", "dance practice", "play dates", "shopping trips", vacations for the whole family", "weekend trips to the zoo", "weekend trips to theme parks", then it's your choice. Not the child's. Sure they will get upset if you suddenly stop doing it but if they never become used to it, then it's not an issues.
I remember getting to go to "Astro World" in Houston as a kid several times. I also remember an occasional trip to the zoo. But it wasn't habit and we never felt deprived if we didn't go. So many kids today are senselessly spoiled with the idea that they "need this". Says who? Who says they need all of that?
So before you tie yourself up with these unnecessary things, think about what else you should be doing. Planning a long three day weekend for you and your spouse? Special dinner somewhere new on a Friday night? Don't be afraid to ask the grandparents or aunts and uncles to babysit. Guess what? You and your spouse will be happier for it and in the end so will the kids.


Tuesday, October 20, 2015

An Enemy More Common Than You Think

Since being diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) in 2013 (and developed in 2012) I have been a journey to fix most if not all of the problems it causes.
I always wondered what caused it, I had very normal physical health up until I started birth control in 2011. After a year of battling the emotional issues caused by the birth control, I decided to get off of it. However, 4 months after being off of the BC I was still having a ton of issues! Issues that I had never experienced before. I went to the doctor in the spring of 2013 and received my diagnosis. I naturally assumed the birth control caused the PCOS, however recently this year I discovered that my great-aunt on my mother's side had it as well. Giving truth to the fact that PCOS is mostly hereditary.
I already had a relatively healthy lifestyle. Not big into processed foods, junk, sodas, sugary things in general. I ate lots of vegetables and was relatively active. But I knew I needed to do more. I tried all kinds of diets with no success to speak of. Finally November of 2013 after being at a point of complete disgust with myself I switched to gluten free. I won't say that it is what has caused the big part of my weight loss but it definitely detoxed my body preparing it for weight loss. I stuck to the gluten free all through the holidays, missing out on most of my favorite treats. It paid off. As soon as January arrived I went hardcore gluten free with balanced portions and calorie control.  The weight began to drop. I lost 10 lbs and then it stalled. I decided it was time to become even more drastic, I started working out hardcore at my gym. I added a weight regime to my cardio. I also switched to keto/low carb.
By June of 2014 I had lost 30 lbs. I went from 203 to 173. Not only was there weight loss, there was overall health improvement. The brown spots, acne, hair loss, excess testosterone, mood swings, depression, all eliminated.
I have maintained my weight since then and I haven't suffered from depression in 2 years. Eating a combination of low carb/paleo/gluten free has saved my life. I am happier for it. I still occasionally enjoy some things that aren't on the recommended diet .... such as pizza ( a personal weakness for me) but mostly I remain strong and faithful to my health regime.
Having moved around a lot in the last 2 years, my exercise routine has changed quite a bit. However, I still manage to get in no less than 30 minutes a day of exercise and definitely shoot for 1 1/2 hours five days a week. I had a gym membership when in lived in Kerrville, Texas and when I moved back to East Texas my husband and I started a joint membership so we could encourage each other. We have since moved again, however this time it is further out in the country making a gym membership not quite worth the extra drive, plus harder for us to exercise together. So 2 months ago we started jogging every evening and every other day we add a weight routine to that. I have also in the last two weeks added an ab workout (which is working wonders btw). We have also increased our jogging to 1 1/2 miles a day. That is really an accomplishment for someone who loathes jogging with passion.
If I could give any advice to my fellow PCOS sufferers, it would be this: Even if it is only 30 minutes a day of exercise, it will help you. If it doesn't help with weight loss it will help with self esteem, energy levels, hormone levels, it will reduce stress and minimize if not eliminate depression. Don't give up on yourself. I didn't give up on myself!

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Taking Your Health Into Your Own Hands but Are We Taking It Too Far?

I am sitting on this beautiful (still warm) Fall day still drinking coffee and I have been researching ways to use essential oils for weight loss that don't include ingesting them. I know the obvious one is rubbing them on yourself. However I get annoyed with is the feeling of oil on your skin, trying to get it dry so that it doesn't get on your clothes. Remembering to use it. Having it with you at all times. It just tends to be a hassle.
I LOVE it for hygienic and house cleaning purposes which in its own way is for your physical health.  I feel like these are the methods that I get the most use out of essential oils. I make my own body wash, shaving cream, aftershave for my husband, kitchen cleaner, dishwasher detergent, laundry detergent and fabric softener. I haven't purchased chemically made products for cleaning in a little over a year.
I am enjoying the diffusing method at the moment.....literally. I am currently sitting here while my diffuser omits the refreshing scent of grapefruit. But what is it really doing, aside from smelling nice? My intention is to help jumpstart my body's weight loss. Is it really going to do that though?
I am not saying that the oils don't do this. However, I am completely convinced that at a certain point it becomes more about what you believe it can do.
Chiropractors, for example provide a very successful service, physical adjustments. I believe they are helpful, I believe they can fix certain issues that are causing other pains and discomforts and therefore "curing" your issues. I draw the line there. I am not going to walk into a "wellness center" and pay a guy that has a college degree to hold his hands above (without touching) certain parts of my body and knowing that that area is not the problem area. Sorry. Not buying it. There are some people however that truly believe in this stuff and do start "getting well". Again, I cannot stress enough that a lot of these issues can be self inflicted through paranoia and too much mental stress. Therefore the idea that you are getting help and that your taking strides towards getting well actually tricks your mind into feeling well again. Not because it has literally done anything but because it allowed your mind to believe that you are trying to help your body therefore your mind allows it. Essential oils are no different.
Yes, they are healthy, yes they are good for you (to a point), yes they are a much better option for cleaning and personal hygiene. There are unspeakably bad things in the everyday products that we use, therefore I believe it is in our best interest to replace these things with essential oils.
I know for a fact that Lavender relaxes and soothes you and can lull you to sleep. I know that Tea Tree has wonderful healing properties. I am highly allergic to poison ivy and I got it one time this year, and everyday for a week I placed Tea Tree on my spots and within that week it was drying up and going away. I believe thieves is a wonderful disinfecting cleaning agent. But let's not get too kooky with all of this.
I have friends that have done 100% natural everything throughout a pregnancy and all the way through the birth and their children still have allergies to things and they still get sick. These same friends live on organic food, healthy diets and ...... essential oils. Yet, they still get the flu, stomach bugs, colds, viruses. You name it. So, the answer is NO. The essential oils are not going to make you invincible. You may not get it as bad as others did, you may get well sooner but you can still get it. Don't let yourself rely on something so much that you are left unprepared when you actually do get sick.
I read an awesome blog post the other day ( I wish I had written it down) that was about a family (again, all organic, holistic and essential oil crazy) and they used a licensed aromatherapist for guidance in using the oils (something that I was highly impressed by, you don't want to be cocky and stupid with the use of the oils) and the family had come down a very bad cold and it wasn't going away, in fact it was getting worse. She was diffusing, ingesting, rubbing it on, doing every single thing she knew to do. So she final asked for advice from the aromatherapist who recommended that they ceased all use of the essential oils for a day or two and give there body a break. They did this and within those days were immediately improving. My point is that you CAN go overboard with the use of them. You don't need to place a diffuser in every room. You don't need to rub oils on your children's feet every night to help them sleep. You don't need to ingest lemon oil in your water to help you lose weight.
For the same reasons that you can needlessly take a vitamin, or take too many vitamins, or drink too much herbal tea, you can also use TOO MANY OILS. Yes, I said it. Anything in the wrong amount or in excess can be bad for you.
Ok I am officially out of thoughts on the topic. Just be careful with what you're using and how you're using it. Happy Oiling!

Friday, September 18, 2015

Upside to a Downside

How do you enjoy the "most wonderful time of the year" FALL when you have something called PCOS. Especially when your worst side affect is ...... WEIGHT GAIN.
Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Pumpkin Bread, Pumpkin Cheesecake, Pumpkin Pie, Thanksgiving Dinner, Hot Chocolate, Sweet Breads, Warm Cozy Soups, Chili, Chili Cheese Dogs, AGHHHHH I am already getting hungry and it's still 90 degrees outside!
I have compiled quite a list of low carb/paleo Fall treats that will hopefully suffice....here is one.
Paleo Pumpkin Spice Latte (vegan too!), made with natural sweeteners. My favorite version so far!:
http://www.thenourishinggourmet.com/2013/10/paleo-pumpkin-spice-latte-dairy-free-and-sugar-free-as-desired.html