Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Taking Your Health Into Your Own Hands but Are We Taking It Too Far?

I am sitting on this beautiful (still warm) Fall day still drinking coffee and I have been researching ways to use essential oils for weight loss that don't include ingesting them. I know the obvious one is rubbing them on yourself. However I get annoyed with is the feeling of oil on your skin, trying to get it dry so that it doesn't get on your clothes. Remembering to use it. Having it with you at all times. It just tends to be a hassle.
I LOVE it for hygienic and house cleaning purposes which in its own way is for your physical health.  I feel like these are the methods that I get the most use out of essential oils. I make my own body wash, shaving cream, aftershave for my husband, kitchen cleaner, dishwasher detergent, laundry detergent and fabric softener. I haven't purchased chemically made products for cleaning in a little over a year.
I am enjoying the diffusing method at the moment.....literally. I am currently sitting here while my diffuser omits the refreshing scent of grapefruit. But what is it really doing, aside from smelling nice? My intention is to help jumpstart my body's weight loss. Is it really going to do that though?
I am not saying that the oils don't do this. However, I am completely convinced that at a certain point it becomes more about what you believe it can do.
Chiropractors, for example provide a very successful service, physical adjustments. I believe they are helpful, I believe they can fix certain issues that are causing other pains and discomforts and therefore "curing" your issues. I draw the line there. I am not going to walk into a "wellness center" and pay a guy that has a college degree to hold his hands above (without touching) certain parts of my body and knowing that that area is not the problem area. Sorry. Not buying it. There are some people however that truly believe in this stuff and do start "getting well". Again, I cannot stress enough that a lot of these issues can be self inflicted through paranoia and too much mental stress. Therefore the idea that you are getting help and that your taking strides towards getting well actually tricks your mind into feeling well again. Not because it has literally done anything but because it allowed your mind to believe that you are trying to help your body therefore your mind allows it. Essential oils are no different.
Yes, they are healthy, yes they are good for you (to a point), yes they are a much better option for cleaning and personal hygiene. There are unspeakably bad things in the everyday products that we use, therefore I believe it is in our best interest to replace these things with essential oils.
I know for a fact that Lavender relaxes and soothes you and can lull you to sleep. I know that Tea Tree has wonderful healing properties. I am highly allergic to poison ivy and I got it one time this year, and everyday for a week I placed Tea Tree on my spots and within that week it was drying up and going away. I believe thieves is a wonderful disinfecting cleaning agent. But let's not get too kooky with all of this.
I have friends that have done 100% natural everything throughout a pregnancy and all the way through the birth and their children still have allergies to things and they still get sick. These same friends live on organic food, healthy diets and ...... essential oils. Yet, they still get the flu, stomach bugs, colds, viruses. You name it. So, the answer is NO. The essential oils are not going to make you invincible. You may not get it as bad as others did, you may get well sooner but you can still get it. Don't let yourself rely on something so much that you are left unprepared when you actually do get sick.
I read an awesome blog post the other day ( I wish I had written it down) that was about a family (again, all organic, holistic and essential oil crazy) and they used a licensed aromatherapist for guidance in using the oils (something that I was highly impressed by, you don't want to be cocky and stupid with the use of the oils) and the family had come down a very bad cold and it wasn't going away, in fact it was getting worse. She was diffusing, ingesting, rubbing it on, doing every single thing she knew to do. So she final asked for advice from the aromatherapist who recommended that they ceased all use of the essential oils for a day or two and give there body a break. They did this and within those days were immediately improving. My point is that you CAN go overboard with the use of them. You don't need to place a diffuser in every room. You don't need to rub oils on your children's feet every night to help them sleep. You don't need to ingest lemon oil in your water to help you lose weight.
For the same reasons that you can needlessly take a vitamin, or take too many vitamins, or drink too much herbal tea, you can also use TOO MANY OILS. Yes, I said it. Anything in the wrong amount or in excess can be bad for you.
Ok I am officially out of thoughts on the topic. Just be careful with what you're using and how you're using it. Happy Oiling!

Friday, September 18, 2015

Upside to a Downside

How do you enjoy the "most wonderful time of the year" FALL when you have something called PCOS. Especially when your worst side affect is ...... WEIGHT GAIN.
Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Pumpkin Bread, Pumpkin Cheesecake, Pumpkin Pie, Thanksgiving Dinner, Hot Chocolate, Sweet Breads, Warm Cozy Soups, Chili, Chili Cheese Dogs, AGHHHHH I am already getting hungry and it's still 90 degrees outside!
I have compiled quite a list of low carb/paleo Fall treats that will hopefully is one.
Paleo Pumpkin Spice Latte (vegan too!), made with natural sweeteners. My favorite version so far!:

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Sorry, You're Not In the Club...... Members Only

I'm sorry, what club? The one where you don't shower for days, and wear stained clothes that are too big or small for you, you eat when remember to eat, you actually get excited about making a diaper run because it gets you out of the house, you fluids from multiple areas of your body and the most excitement you have is anticipating the next nap time? No thank you.
A little recent perception has shown me that not ALL life changing events put you in a different more elite club.
For example, when you graduate high school. You all graduated and you are all starting your independent life. When you get start dating, it doesn't mean you don't hang out with your single friends. When you get married, you still don't stop hanging out with your single friends and you don't stop hanging out with your friends in general. But..........................
Have a baby and suddenly you are kicked out of the previous club you didn't even realize you were in and admitted into a totally new one. The one where frumpy, bored, miserable women convince you that it's the greatest experience ever. The one where women overreact to absolutely everything in the most ridiculous situations ever. The one where any woman that hasn't had a baby isn't as much as a hard worker or as sacrificial as the woman staying home with the baby.
Well here's a newsflash. Giving birth is not new news. Having babies has been going on for YEARS. Get over yourself. If you are "frumpy" (and I don't use that word lightly, more on that later) then it is self inflicted. Most moms now use that at their new secret identity. Except it's not really all that secret.
Frumpy: Dowdy, Drab, Dull, Unfashionable. Ok so the fashionable part is irrelevant. But the dowdy, drab and dull. Really? Pair with the "Ragamuffin" and your set for endless low self esteem and dread to each waking morning.
Just because you had a baby doesn't mean you don't have to care about yourself. Perhaps if you went that extra mile for yourself you wouldn't feel or act the way you do? I am not asking you. I am asking you to ask yourself.
I watch woman go through this transformation almost every time and every time I question whether I will do this or not. The answer is..........
NO! Absolutely not. I maintain that if you feel good in your body and feel good about yourself then you will feel good about being a mother and won't feel the need to guilt other unexpecting woman to be well......expecting.
I hate the prying questions at the get togethers,

Person 1: "So how many kids do you have" (overly sweet and syrupy voice)
Me: None (casual)
Person 1: "Oh, well when will yall be starting a family?" (still sweet, but traces of overbearing curiosity and interest)
Me: Oh, whenever we take an interest in it. (still casual)
Person 1: "Oh, well how old are you?" (eyes have started to squint and blatant interrogation style questioning has begun)
Me: 27 (casual and unphased.....oh wait not unphased a slight bit of pride has creeped into my voice, because yes, I have managed to be married for 4 years and not had kids yet)
Person 1: "Wow, well you better get started soon." (Mixed tones of jealousy, anger, astonishment, and overall shock leading to "I must say something bitterly encouraging")
Me: Nah, I'm not worried about it. *and I walk away*

This is a typical example of what people in the club say to people not in the club.
Why? Why is this necessary? Why do you have to judge others, why do you have to criticize others for choosing differently and for following a different path?

I am not the woman that is going to be annoyed that your brought a baby to Twin Peaks with you. But I am going to be the woman that is annoyed that you are criticizing the modesty of the waitresses while you are breast feeding a baby at the table.
Just because you had a baby and you are performing the miracle of feeding doesn't make it any more or less modest thanthe woman wearing the "skanky waitress outfit".  Having a baby doesn't make you special and it doesn't make you part of an elite club.
I am the woman that gets annoyed when a couple brings an infant to a movie theater. In fact I think it shouldn't be allowed. You wanted to have a baby. Well groovy. Good for you. But, I didn't ask or pay to be in club. I paid to see a movie and would prefer to hear it as well.  Pay someone to babysit your child so that you can enjoy a movie with your husband. It's as if couples do this on purpose, it is there way of saying "welcome to our world". Well, I prefer to have to pay my dues until I owe my dues.
Happy almost Friday!

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Children, to have them young or to have them when you are well aged....that is the question

Has anyone else noticed the huge percentage of girls under the age of 20 having kids (and not just on accident) but purposefully wanting kids at that age? Well I have noticed.
If that's one's choice then I guess it is what it is. However, can these girls even explain why they want kids at such a young age (other than "babies are cute", " I love the smell of babies", "I just want to be a mother"... etc). I am not dissing on these perfectly lovely reasons that were plucked straight from puffy white clouds floating above of us, but shouldn't they be thinking about what all comes with this responsibility? These aren't stuffed animals or pets for that matter. They are little mini humans that will grow up affected by what choices the parents makes. They may not take into account and notice things at 6 months, 1 year, 2 years. But by the time they're 3? They will be remembering everything. Copying everything. Watching and learning by what you do. Scary right? You will be their greatest example in everything.
I know some girls that just want to get married, have a home and have kids. That's all they want to do. Nothing wrong with that. But, let's just say you just finished school, you're 18 and you are in love, you get married......whala! One month later you're expecting. You may very well be ready for that because that's what you've wanted your whole life. But what happens if you reach 30 years old and realize that you have five kids and you are still doing exactly what you were doing when you turned 18. If that wasn't enough odds are you still have another almost 10 years until your finished raising the oldest of your five. So you will probably be well into your 50s by the time you have finished raising your last child. And what have you done? I know you can enjoy a lot while taking "family vacations" and "retirement" but keep in mind when you vacation and have experiences with kids, you have less funds, less freedom, less physical energy and less overall ability to do things other than what is fitting for children. When you are retired you have plenty of funds, plenty of freedom, less physical energy (possibly health) and just overall physical ability to do things that you could have done in your 20s, even 30s.
What about the girls that aren't even done with school, aren't in a serious relationship (let alone married) and they get pregnant? The interesting part is that they are actually excited about this. They aren't embarrassed and they aren't concerned. Wait for it.....they are overjoyed! They are excited! They are can't wait for their little bundle of joy. Gee, great. Another child that childless people have to help raise (tax money). Especially considering this particular group will probably and most likely be on some form of welfare, WIC, etc.
The other group are girls that have finished school and are just plain screw-ups. They haven't set out to do anything they originally wanted to accomplish. They have a dead beat boyfriend and they barely make it by as it is. Yet, they are happily bringing a baby into this dysfunctional conjunction of a life that they live. Oh and by the way this group will also be accepting some form of welfare assistance, I have no doubt.
I see more and more of these three examples everyday. I am 27 and I don't have kids...yet. I definitely want a child. My husband and I talk about more often now than we used too. We have been married for 4 1/2 years and we have been enjoying that experience. I truly think that people that wait at least 1 year before starting a family with kids have an extremely smooth adventure ahead of them. When you jump right into having kids you aren't giving yourself enough time to get used to living together. Kids don't need to be subjected to this kind of imbalance.
I want to be able to tell my kids about my experiences (which may not necessarily be something as exotic as swimming with whales, or kayaking in Alaska) but parasailing, visiting Caribbean islands, etc. are experiences they wonderful things to enjoy. I want to be able to pull out my photo albums and show them cool stuff and have suggestions for things that they should try.
You are going to want your kids to have wonderful experiences. You are going to want them to live life to the fullest. Encourage this!
But hey, sometimes they really are people that just want to go through life pregnant and are addicted to the smell of a newborn baby. Kudos to you. That takes a truly special woman. For those of you who do decide to wait, DON'T (I cannot stress this enough) feel guilty. Life is short, live it!

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Pro Vaccine, Anti Vaccine, What's the Difference, It's Just Two Groups In a Pissing Contest

I am so SICK of the pissing contest between Pro Vaccinators and Anti Vaccinators. All either of these groups care about is judging the other and a child actually does get sick from either group, there is an immediate "ha ha I told you so" or "You had it coming, you never should have ignored vaccines" or "You had it coming you never should have gotten them vaccinated".
Really? Shouldn't we all want the same thing? Shouldn't we all want the health and well being of our children?
There are a few things that I can't help but used as examples (of course some if not many will say that these are easily explained).
One: If vaccines are unimportant and actually make you sick rather than keep you from getting sick, than why has the number of cases of measles, polio, influenza, whooping cough, etc. gotten smaller rather than bigger?  I can't honestly remember the last time we had a major epidemic. I know people think that the vaccines cause autoimmune diseases and SIDS. Yes, maybe a vaccination does cause this but again what about the fact that thousands used to die of these diseases everyday (parents lived in fear for their children's lives) and now there are only a handful cases in a year?
Two: If natural is better, than why wasn't it working generation after generation after generation. You would think that sanitation and healthy eating would be enough. But do we really know if it is?
Three: It seems as though some (anti vaccinators) just want to be right. They want to find the answer themselves. They want to be independent to a point that they need no assistance whatsoever.
Something that is curious to me is that most people that are anti-vaccines are also completely against hospital birth or hospital aided birth. They will support birthing centers or homebirth. Now, I am not criticizing the bravery and strength of women who choose to have a baby by home birth/birthing center, however if that's the case then why are they so intent on criticizing those that choose hospital birth? Because of arrogance.
Arrogance is what I truly believe will be the downfall involving the winning side of vaccines/no vaccines. Because let's face it, eventually one will outweigh the other.
Why do I think arrogance is a key factor?
Example, so if lack of healthy diet and sanitation are what originally caused epidemics then what caused births gone bad, babies to died at birth, women to die giving birth, babies to died after being born, why did women fill out a will prior to give birth due to not knowing that outcome. Midwives have been around to help almost as long as women giving birth have. Yet things still went wrong.
How is natural better, when natural is all there ever used to be. Yet, things still went wrong. Birth was dangerous, birth was scary. Granted it is an exaggeration but in "period movies" the most common explanation of man's tragedy is his wife dying in childbirth. Why? Because it is realistic. It was and is common. You mostly hear of successful home births and birthing center experiences. Yet there are just as many sad outcomes.
PLEASE STOP being so judgmental of others. Make your decisions confidently and with faith in God and STOP judging other people's methods.

Couple of links in favor of vaccinations, just some food for thought. The "double standard" link is not  jab, but it is certainly a comeback to the popular double standard post aimed at pro vaccinators.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Guilty or Not Guilty?

Just some food for thought. But, it is extremely odd that all of a sudden 50 women with similar stories are all suddenly coming forward and accusing Bill Cosby. It is interesting that some of these women have inconsistencies in their stories. Some of these women claim to have accepted money from him, let him pay their bills, voluntarily took pills that he "gave to them" and also none of these women (irrelevant if they were believed or not) went and had a rape test done to have some proof that they did take action at the time of the crimes. It is also very interesting that MANY people take offense to Bill Cosby (due to what he or what we thought he stood for). I am not going to downplay that rape is often brushed under the rug and never dealt with. However, wealthy people are often victims of lies and conspiracies, especially wealthy people that are outspoken. I am not taking sides, however because these women waited so long to suddenly speak up and because they took no action to have proof of what happened then I don't think even with a trial that I could ever truly say. It is entirely possible that someone seriously dislikes Cosby enough to have an agenda against him. To offer to pay women to be on it. It is not uncommon to try and crush someone's legacy.
 I also find it hard to believe that a show that ran for a decade where Cosby had a busy life with his on screen family, that none of these people saw any suspicious behavior. If he truly was as promiscuous as they say.
If he truly did this, I pity those women. But I also criticize them. They should have spoke up, they should have made a stand, they should have gone to a hospital and had a rape test done and filed. Even if it wasn't believe then, if a string of women were to consistently do this and have actual proof. Then it would not be hard to bring this sort of thing down.
You should not fear not being believed when you have spoken up and taken a stand. You should fear not believed because you never made the effort to be believed.
My final comment is to those that think because in interviews he has been quoted as saying "I don't want to talk about that" if he indeed didn't do it, then I can see why he wouldn't want to talk about it. To have the image that he has had for so long and suddenly see it crumble. I would be offended and annoyed to hear the question. Also, it is disrespectful and in bad taste for journalism to use an interview for an art exhibit to get Hollywood gossip out of the accused, especially after having requested that it not be brought up.
If he is wrong, I hope justice is served. If he is not, he is owed an apology.
Interesting blog post that helps give perspective to both sides

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Parenting 101 from a Single Married Person

I know this is going to sound like mute point to some and to others it will be a sign of comfort that someone else has noticed but WHAT THE CRAP IS IT WITH MODERN PARENTING and THEIR BRATS?
Every time I go to the store I see some mom struggling with kids. Now, I am not being a cynic and saying in general "struggling with kids" I mean literally struggling. She is trying to push a cart and grab groceries, meanwhile her wild mean sweet innocent children are wreaking havoc on the store and it's other shoppers. It doesn't matter what she says they just continue on. Everything from bumping into other shoppers, not moving out of the way, knocking stuff off the shelves, etc. you name it they're doing it. Yet, the mom has either no assertiveness in her voice when she (more often IF) she corrects and then other times it's over assertiveness making her sound weak and frustrating, leaving the kids with the notion that it is time to "go in for the kill", "finish her off", "Take out the weak one of the pack", you get where I am going with this. No RESPECT. No ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of her authority.  So, where does it come from? No child is born this way. Therefore, the fault is with the parent.
First of all teaching your kids manners is more than just "Yes ma'am, No ma'am" and "Yes sir, No sir". They can just as easily be respectfully disrespectful.
Example: If you have told your child to do something and they look at you and say "no", don't correct them and say "You do not say no, you say no ma'am". I'm sorry, but really? You're just asking for it, in fact I will go a step further you deserve it! Don't give them permission to disrespect you. It should be "Do NOT tell me no, you say yes ma'am". Saying it that way doesn't leave them with thoughts of an ultimatum. BTW, I know you probably think that the words I am using don't come into a child's head and your right not these specific words. But, yes they are thinking of these methods and processes, which leads me to secondly.
Secondly, DON'T underestimate your child. They are not stupid, they're just disrespectful hooligans that have somehow begun to rule your life. Just relate it to Planet of the Apes. They watch and learn and mostly importantly remember.
Next up "child proofing your home" note I didn't say "baby proof" I said "child proof". REALLY? On what sick planet did you grow up? My parents didn't baby proof anything, let alone child proof. I cannot begin to tell you how many facebook posts I saw last year of Christmas literally falling over (due to meddling) and women who have come up with the idea to decorate their tree in all plastic ornaments until the kids are old enough to not break the nice pretty delicate glass ones. Of course if you comment on any these you leave yourself wide open for the classic line "you'll understand when you have kids". Yes, I will understand. I will understand that while you are putting a plastic tree to avoid disaster that I will be still be enjoying my vintage glass ball and hallmark ornament tree. Why take the risk? Because, as soon as you hide the delicate items in your house and stop putting out your pretty things because you don't want them broken, you open a door to a whole new problem. You have just enabled your child. You have given them the realization that they can do whatever they want. When you child proof your home and then take your kids to someone else's home and something gets broken BECAUSE of your child's BAD MANNERS this is not the fault of the people who don't have a child proof home.
My mother had five children. She didn't have kids for the first 2 years of marriage. Once she did, she never stopped putting out her 5 glass nativities at Christmas or decorating her Christmas tree with hundreds of glass balls, or setting out her delicate German made nutcrackers, or placing her hand painted ceramic Santa on the floor by the fireplace......GASP on the floor! Oh my, you live dangerously. No, not really. She just lived in reality. The reality that she is boss and we lived with the understanding that if we broke something that weren't supposed to be touching to begin with, our lives were in her hands.
Yet, friends would come over and their child would break something of my mom's (which did happen at least once) and the response from the parent is that "you shouldn't keep breakable things out and in child's reach". WRONG! Not only would I expect a greater response from the parent of the unruly child, I expect compensation and I sure as heck don't want to be corrected in my own home where my own kids have never broken any of my precious items.

So fourthly, "Is My Child a Brat?". Well first of all babies learn fast. They know what they can get away with and when they can get away with it. Like crying, if you pay attention very shortly into the early mother stages you will notice that baby cries because it needs something and then not much later in the mothering stage, you will noticed that they cry also be cause they WANT something. WANT and NEED are not the same at all. As soon as that child is not crying because they have a dirty diaper, or because they are hungry, or because they are sleepy it is time to take action. By this I mean, let them cry it out. Don't pick them up and soothe them just for the sake of soothing them. You are beginning to enable them as soon as you start this bad habit.
If you let your child poor milk on the floor at home and stomp through it and make a mess then they are no doubt going to do this at someone else's home. If you let them pick up things that aren't theirs and hit and smash it against other stuff, then they will do that at other people's home. If you take away all things that you don't want damaged, then will go ape crazy at someone else's home. Don't make your children unbearable for other people to be around. Sure, some of your stuff will probably get broken in the learning process. However, very shortly you will notice that you are able to have a pretty centerpiece in the middle of the coffee table instead of sticky handprints, legos and empty sippy cups. There is a perfectly good floor surrounding the tiny island of "COFFEE TABLE". The floor is the ocean where you can take your speed boats and jet skis and be obnoxious, the coffee table is the all inclusive resort where the adults go, NO CHILDREN ALLOWED. Know the boundaries, teach the boundaries and enforce the boundaries.
Complain about the entire house being covered with toys and all things child related? STOP. They don't have their own freaking bedroom just to have a place to sleep. This is their domain. Toys, books, clothes, all forms of messiness stays in that room. The house doesn't belong to them, they don't pay the bills. Make them respect it and in return your children will be friggin joy for other people to be around not just you. What a blessing that would be.
Lastly technology. Really people? Go outside and play waterguns, cowboys and Indians, turn that troll house into a GI Joe fort, have a Barbie fashion show. No child needs a kindle, ipad, ipadmini, airpad, nookie, littlenookie, and whatever else it is that they have out for kids now. The bottom line is you are going to tell yourself that you are buying this for your child because it is "educational" or "they only get to use it for educational games" or the excuse of "it's no different than watching tv" and the list goes on. The bottom line is you are getting this for your child so they will have something to keep them "out of your hair for a while" something to plug them into while at a guest's house or at social events, something to occupy them while in the car. WRONG. These are the best times and the best ways to start that early education. If they start out with these pieces of technology it WILL impair their ability to communicate and to have a mature conversation. It WILL make them unsocial (you think homeschooling makes people unsocial, try giving a 3 year old an ipad). I was shy as child and didn't talk to my peers much. But, when I was 13 I could have full on conversations with an 80 year old at a nursing home. I knew how to talk and how to carry on a mature conversation.
So you want your child to learn to read quickly? Give them a book? NO not a KINDLE, a book? Ever heard of it? Oh, I'm sorry you probably couldn't hear me, you gave all your attention to page 100 of Fifty Shades of Grey ON YOUR KINDLE! Get off the kindle! and on that note get a life, read a real book. Ok sorry getting off track sometimes I forget that the modern adults are as bad as the little children.
No, your child doesn't need a phone at the age of 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, even 10. Phones come into necessity at age 16 when they are having to get jobs and start driving. I personally don't want my child's first photo be a "selfie".
Ok, rant over!